I finally broke down tonight and told Kori exactly how I feel.

It wasn't easy, given the sensitive nature of the subject, but I think it went pretty well, all things considered.

You see, the original, canonical version of "Kiss" as written and performed by Prince contains the following lyrics:

Women not girls
They rule my world
I said they rule my world

However, when Tom Jones performs the 80's poptastic hit, he makes a subtle change to the wording which has profound consequences on the meaning of the song:

Women and girls
They rule my world
I said they rule my world

I told Kori tonight that I didn't like the Tom Jones version.

It isn't that I want to get in the way of the TJ expressing himself as he sees fit, but I just don't think it's right for him to have effected an unauthorized 180 in the meaning of the first line of the stanza.

I feel that Prince's work is open to a reasonable degree of interpretation, but I think that Tom Jones completely stepped over the line of what is acceptable and is now just begging to be deported.

I mean, if Tom feels that "women and girls" rule his world, then how are we supposed to process the following lines which come in the following stanza:

Act your age
Not your shoe size
And maybe we can do the twirl

It's obvious that this refers back to Prince's statement that "women not girls" rule his world. Preceding this stanza with the statement that "women and girls/rule my world" is just ludicrous.

You might think I'm overreacting, but I'm not going to sit idly by and watch as some yodeling missing-link Vegas stage pimp in heavy gold jewelry and chest hair implants foolishly meddles with the work of one of our time's greatest artists.

Kori took it pretty well. I thought I was going to have to spend the night at a hotel, but her reaction was very sensitive and mature. She pretended like she didn't even care, obviously trying to make me feel more comfortable about having just dropped this bomb right in the middle of our relationship.

It's times like this that I know I really understand women.

Hey - if any of you out there ever need any relationship advice, then just give me a holler, 'cause the Doctor of Love is in.