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Shopping for tech junk - I am *not* making this up

The sickest part of what you are about to read is that this is all true. I just got my Microsoft Smart Card in the mail - we use these to VPN in to the network, and we need adapters so that we can shove them inside of our computers.

It turns out that buying one of these adapters isn't as easy as you might expect it to be...

At CompUSA:

Me: Hi. I'm looking for a PCMCIA Smart Card reader.

Customer Service Person: Oh. Those are on aisle 28.

Me: Thanks.

[three minutes later]

Me: Hi. I'm looking for a PCMCIA Smart Card reader.

Customer Service Person: Oh. Those are between aisles 16 and 17.

Me: Thanks.

[three minutes later]

Me: Hi. I'm looking for a PCMCIA SMART CARD READER.

Customer Service Person: For what?

Me: A PCMCIA SMART CARD READER. SMART CARD. READER.

Customer Service Person: Oh. I've never heard of those. Hang on. Maybe Biff has heard of those. Hey, Biff - this gentleman is looking for a... for a... what were you looking for again?

Me: A PCMCIA Smart Card reader.

Biff: Oh, yeah. Those are on the other side of the camera island. They're on a rack.

Me: And that's for Smart Cards, right? A Smart Card is a credit card sized card used for stori-

Biff: [exasperated] Sir. They are on the other side of the camera island. They're on a rack.

Me: Thanks.

[three minutes later]

Me: Hi. I'm looking for a PCMCIA Smart Card reader.

Biff: [really sick of me now] Did you look on the rack?

Me: Yes. I didn't see any there. There were Smart Media cards, but no Smart Car-

Biff: [ready to punch me in the face] Wait here sir.

[three minutes later]

Biff: Here you are, sir.

Me: That's a Smart Media reader. I need a Smart Card reader. Card. CARD. CARD!

Biff: [at his wit's end while letting out a long breath] Let me look it up in the computer.

Me: Thanks.

Biff: OK... What were you looking for again?

Me: A SMART... CARD... ***READER***.

Biff: [without even looking anything up in the inventory] Oh. We don't carry those.

Me:

On the phone with Fry's salespeople:

Me: Hi. I'm looking for a PCMCIA Smart Card reader.

Operator: OK. Let me transfer you to the audio video section.

Me: No! Wait! It's not A/V! It's -

A/V guy: Hello, Fry's A/V.

Me: Hi. I'm looking for a PCMCIA Smart Card reader.

A/V guy: That's not in this department. You want the computer department. Let me transfer you.

Me: Thanks.

[several phone clicks later]

A/V guy: Sorry. My phone isn't working - can you call back?

Me: Sure. Thanks.

[after dialing Fry's again]

Me: Hi. I'm looking for a PCMCIA Smart Card reader.

Operator: Didn't you just call? Let me transfer you to the audio video section.

Me: No! Wait! It's not A/V! It's -

A/V guy: Hello, Fry's A/V.

Me: Hi. I'm looking for a PCMCIA Smart Card Reader.

A/V guy: Didn't you just call? [sigh] Here - let me try to transfer you again.

Me: Thanks.

[several phone clicks later]

Computer guy: Hello, computers.

Me: Hi. I'm looking for a PCMCIA Smart Card Reader.

Computer guy: Oh. That's in a different department. You want accessories. Hang on while I transfer you.

Me: Thanks.

[many phone clicks later followed by a pause]

Operator: Hello, thank you for calling Fry's. How may I direct your call?

Me: Hi. Could you connect me to the accessories department please?

Operator: What product are you looking for, sir?

Me: I'd just like to be connected to the accessories department, actu-

Operator: [more urgently] What product are you looking for, sir?

Me: I'm looking for a PCMCIA Smart Card reader, and I was just told by someone that it's in the accessories department.

Operator: I don't think that's right, sir, but let me connect you anyway.

Me: Thanks.

Operator: [after a pause] Sir, our representative in the accessories department is busy right now. Can I put you on hold?

Me: Sure. Thanks.

[a few minutes later]

Accessories guy: Hello, accessories department.

Me: Hi. I'm looking for a PCMCIA Smart Card reader.

Accessories guy: Those are in the computer department, sir. Are you sure that you're looking for a Smart Card reader and not a Smart Media reader?

Me: I'm looking for a Smart Card reader. They're credit card sized cards used for storing personal da-

Accessories guy: I know what they are, sir. We had them in the military. Please wait while I transfer you.

Me: Thanks.

[several phone clicks later]

Computer guy: Hello, Fry's computer department.

Me: Hi. I'm looking for a PCMCIA Smart Card reader.

Computer guy: A Smart Media card, sir?

Me: No! No! I'm looking for a Smart Card reader. ********CARD********.

Computer guy: Ooooohhhhhh... those. You actually want the telephony department. Please wait while I transfer you.

Me: [ready to cry] Thanks.

[several phone clicks later]

Telephony guy: Hello, telephone department.

Me: Hi. I'm looking for a PCMCIA Smart Card reader.

Telephony guy: Smart Media cards are in the computer department. Hang on while I transfer you.

Me: Nooooo-

[several phone clicks later]

Computer guy: Hello, Fry's computer department.

Me: Hi. I just called to ask about a PCMCIA Smart Card reader, and I've been getting transferred around quite a bit.

Computer guy: [exasperated] Those aren't in this department sir, but I guess I could look them up for you anyway. Now, what are they called again?

Me: It's a PCMCIA Smart Card reader.

Computer guy: OK... Let's see here... [long pause] Ah. Nope. We don't carry those.

Me: Oh. Thanks.

Computer guy: But we do have Smart Media cards if you'd like one of tho-

Me:

I still don't have the damn card.

After Blog Mint [?] :

Thank you, Yves. Very kind :)

Published Saturday, August 28, 2004 9:19 PM by Rory

Filed Under:

Comments

 

Sahil Malik said:

Hey Rory,

I have a smart card reader, can you contact me thru my blog (http://www.dotnetjunkies.com/weblog/sahilmalik) and I'll send it to you. Free of charge (I am not using it) - though you pay for shipping.

- Sahil
August 28, 2004 9:29 PM
 

Sahil Malik said:

PS: If the contact thru blog doesn't work, Carl has my email address.
August 28, 2004 9:31 PM
 

Mike Dimmick said:

I think my sister (Exchange PSS) uses a USB Smart Card reader. HP apparently do a PC Card variant, code 135646-B25, according to the UK retailer dabs.com, but it's really expensive.

Google to the rescue! http://www.didya.com/G-USB-Smart-Card-Reader.asp lists a $30 USB smart card reader/writer. Don't ask if you can logon with it though. I think you need some guidance from ITG.

Why didn't Microsoft send you a reader as well as the card???
August 28, 2004 9:42 PM
 

JPDaigle said:

That image now lives on my desktop.
Rory's "The Scream".
August 28, 2004 9:43 PM
 

Mike Dimmick said:

Windows-compatible Smart Card readers: http://www.microsoft.com/windows/catalog/default.aspx?subid=21&xslt=categoryl3&pgn=7d15bd26-ea50-47b4-91c6-1fdafaa11ec9
August 28, 2004 9:49 PM
 

Mike Dimmick said:

A list of readers supporting the PC/SC Workgroup specifications: http://www.pcscworkgroup.com/compatibleproducts/cardreaders.php - this lists the connection technology.
August 28, 2004 9:52 PM
 

Craig said:

I had pretty much exactly the same experience. I wound up with three of the damn things. If Sahil can't hook you up, I can offer you PCMCIA, ISB, and serial flavors. :)
August 28, 2004 10:02 PM
 

Lanie said:


"Why didn't Microsoft send you a reader as well as the card???" - Mike Dimmick

There is a special place in heaven reserved for those with the talent for asking The Next Logical Question.

(I'm not being a smart-aleck. It's sorta like common sense - not as common as you'd think :))
August 28, 2004 11:21 PM
 

Lanie said:

Oh, and I've learned (the hard way, which Rory has eloquently described) a trick that sometimes works when caught in a loop with clueless phone-answerers: Let these be the very first words out of your mouth when they answer: "DO NOT HANG UP ON ME!"

This often shocks them out of their stupor long enough to actually listen to the words you're trying to get in edgewise. It's especially effective when said in a semi-hysterical, but also semi-jokey, but also semi-I-will-hunt-you-down, tone of voice.
August 28, 2004 11:32 PM
 

Owen Cutajar said:

Excellent post. Almost as amusing as calling a call centre and asking for something not in their standard script .. happens to me all the time!
August 29, 2004 12:14 AM
 

Bruce Williams [MS] said:

I'm not sure how it works for traveling folks like you; as a non-traveling building 42 'softie, the first place I'd go would be my group's admin. She would either have a reader for me, or point me to exactly where I need to go to get one.
August 29, 2004 4:35 AM
 

Jonathan Hardwick [MSFT] said:

Er, what Bruce said. But if that doesn't work, I think I've got a spare around here somewhere. Last time I asked, they gave me two...
August 29, 2004 5:28 AM
 

Ian said:

Well let that be a lesson to you.
NEVER, EVER ask Fry's personel for any help.
Don't even ask them where things are - it's not worth it.

There's a store in the UK called Dixons, who's staff are refered to as Dixon droids. Lots of fun. I once asked if they sold LED's (I did actually need one,and although I had no hope, figured it was worth a laugh). NOT A CLUE. I pointed one out on the front of some box and got ' Oh, thats an LED? no, we don't sell those'. Them and PC world robots, you can pass a whole weekend asking em for stupid stuff if you're bored enough.

You need to find your nearest fry's, spend a few hours learning the layout and then only head there when you know what your want (or you have a few hours to kill and just want to surf shop).

PS, best one I've been to so far is the one in Fremont, CA. It's HUGE but very sensibly laid out. shame it's in Fremont really..

PPS, I have a spare Smart media reader if you need one. Thats what you wanted right?
August 29, 2004 8:30 AM
 

David Brabant said:

Well, I'm not really getting the point of your story. What were you looking for exactly? (Argh, just kiddin' Not on my head, not on my head!)
August 29, 2004 8:34 AM
 

Mario Goebbels said:

Try to find the next computer shop, or whatever, in your surroundings. Driving to that place will be less costly than the telephone call, and definitely taking less time.
August 29, 2004 11:51 AM
 

Mitch Denny said:

Heh, funny, my wife flinged me a smart card reader today when she was unpacking a box. I wondered what devious things I could get up to with it . . .

Its a USB reader Smart Card reader though.
August 29, 2004 12:11 PM
 

bliz said:

um. i have an extra smart card reader. could have brought it by yesterday evening. i thought you wanted a smart *media* card reader. i don't have one of those. anyway....
August 29, 2004 5:47 PM
 

Søren Lund said:

<irony>
I believe that the Internet enables you to do something called online shopping while you CAN use your phone for such purposes it is advised to use a broadband connection for better speed - not faster service no :)
It's really cool most of the time you can even do searches at the site to get to the product fast ;)

Or if you really want old school why not just use the fax? ;)
</irony>
August 30, 2004 8:05 AM
 

Aaron Toponce said:

CompUSA has some of the dumbest people around. At one point I wanted a FireWire/USB 2.0 combo PCMCIA card and an external hard drive. When I began asking about transfer speeds of PCMCIA, I got all sorts of numbers. It actually became a fun game to see who could give me actual thoroughput. One guy said it all depended on my processor. The faster the processor, the faster the speed. One guy said RAM, if pc2700, or pc2100? I left without knowing the answer. I eventually found my answer online.
August 30, 2004 12:52 PM
 

Paul Robichaux said:

Dude, there's a simpler way to get one of these: Call the seekrit Microsoft IT helpdesk number and they can hook you up with the phone number you need to order one. The PC Card version costs about $15.
August 30, 2004 1:59 PM
 

Mike Marshall said:

http://tinyurl.com/43nbr

Hope it helps
August 30, 2004 2:36 PM
 

Don Smith [MSFT] said:

Dude, that post had me ROLLIN' ... excellent! I didn't read all of the comments so this might be a dup, but you can get them through msmarket for a lot cheaper than anywhere else. It's the best option if you don't have an admin to hook you up.
August 31, 2004 4:00 PM
 

Geoff Weinhold said:

That's what you get for not ordering it online. =)

Fry's = Moron Shop

Don't ask anyone there for anything. You need to be a purchaser there and not a shopper.
August 31, 2004 8:59 PM
 

Anton said:

Being put through that endless phone loop reminded me of the time I tried to cancel my AOL account. Oh the horror (and unbelievable frustration)! I very much sympathize.
September 1, 2004 4:50 AM
 

Benjimawoo said:

<irrelevant>
Of course the AOL nightmare doesn't finish when the account's cancelled either. Finally getting the phone part's a doddle compared to cleaning all AOL's stuff outta your system!
</irrelevant>
September 3, 2004 12:19 PM
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