I was shaving this morning with my electric razor. It's the model that James Bond used in the most recent Bond flick (that, by the way, is truly the reason I bought it).

I've been shaving with the thing for about two years now, but for the first time, for the very first time, remarked, on this very day, my friends, that my electric shaver is "Aquatronic." It's printed in small letters below one of the circular blades.

Can you believe that I was using this same razor for a couple years without even realizing that it was Aquatronic? Me neither. When I found out, it was like I had been given a whole new razor.

I initially read the word very slowly to myself a few times to get a feel for it: "A... qua... t-r-o... nic... Aqua... tron... ic... Aqua... tronic... Aquatronic... Aquatronic... Aquatronic!"

I was soaring like a bird on a thermal in Heaven's playground. My razor - My razor, friends and enemies, was Aquatronic! Aqua-freaking-tronic!

The blood in my veins was replaced with 100% pure delight, glowing and warm, navigating the vessels of my body like happy children on water slides in the hot summer sun - I beamed at myself in the mirror, feeling better than I had just a few minutes prior, knowing that I had definitely purchased The Razor of Razors to end All Razors. Be they strong and large or small and weak, my razor was The One - The Vanquisher.

I continued shaving, feeling the Aquatronicness of my razor, noticing for the first time how the blades guided themselves smoothly, one might even say Aquatronically, across the angles, pits, and contours of my face. A cleaner, closer shave than ever before was mine for the taking, thanks to the glory of the Aquatron Engine that powers my glorious bathroom implement.

I was in such a good mood, in fact, that the only thing that managed to break my reverie was when the felt pens of my mind scribbled the following question on the whiteboard of my consciousness:

"What in the bloody stinking hell does 'Aquatronic' mean?"

After Blog Mint [?] :

It looks like Frank, Mike, Joe, Peter, and Eric all rather enjoyed the song about Chris.

I wonder what they'll think of the remix that I'll be posting later today...