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You have summoned an elemental

At the end of a few weeks on the road, and after having gone blind on Tuesday during one of my talks, all I could think last night when getting home was, "Lord, I hope there's a letter waiting for me which requests my presence in a dingy old court room at the rate of $10.00/day for the entire month of December to determine whether or not we should give the death sentence to the fourteen year old who stole a tube of lipstick from a local department store."

Well, it seems that someone was listening, because that's exactly what I got.

I've been summoned for jury duty.

But, because I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to actually go through with this, I was hoping you could all help a brother out by printing the form letter below, signing it, and sending it in to the Multnomah County Circuit Court no later than December 4th of this year:

Your help is greatly appreciated.

Also, Bonus PointsTM to the person who can name the classic computer game from which I stole a phrase for the title of this post :)

Published Friday, November 19, 2004 8:19 PM by Rory

Filed Under:

Comments

 

Vaughn said:

Gee, Ultima? It's been a while.

Glad to see you're doing better after the ... uh .. What was it you said had happened earlier this week? I *vaguely* remember you mentioning it once or twice at yesterday's event in the midst of a cloud of Hillsborons & Portlandians. Ah yes. Blindness. Crazy wierd stuff.

I think it might be more effective to simply send Multnomah County a few sample illustrations you like to use as a juror to summarize testimony. Worth a million words.
November 19, 2004 8:40 PM
 

Rory said:

Vaughn -

"Gee, Ultima? It's been a while."

Nope! Much, much, *much* less popular than Ultima.

"Glad to see you're doing better after the ... uh .. What was it you said had happened earlier this week? I *vaguely* remember you mentioning it once or twice at yesterday's event in the midst of a cloud of Hillsborons & Portlandians. Ah yes. Blindness. Crazy wierd stuff."

Yeah. I might have mentioned it once or twice :)

When something like that happens, my instinct is to belittle it so that I don't feel like it's The Boss.

"I think it might be more effective to simply send Multnomah County a few sample illustrations you like to use as a juror to summarize testimony. Worth a million words."

Are you just trying to tell me that you don't care enough about Justice to send in this form letter?

This is, like, your civic duty, my friend. Don't turn your back on The People when they need you the most.
November 19, 2004 8:47 PM
 

Haacked said:

Archon.
November 19, 2004 8:52 PM
 

Monica said:

ummm....Neverwinter Nights?

I'll vouch that you're the wrong person to decide on anything more taxing than ice-cream flavour :)

M
November 19, 2004 8:52 PM
 

Kirk said:

HeroQuest?
November 19, 2004 8:57 PM
 

g said:

Gauntlet
November 19, 2004 8:59 PM
 

JohnE said:

I second the Archon answer
November 19, 2004 9:00 PM
 

Randy said:

Telengard? Gauntlet?

Oops, my age is showing again...
November 19, 2004 9:03 PM
 

john said:

How the hell do you get jury duty for a month? I noticed that when I got my jury summons (for multnomah county) a while ago, the way it was worded led me to believe that I might end up at the court house for a month.
Turns out I was there for two days.
Sat in the jury pool room the entire time reading "Pragmatic ADO.NET" and playing cards.
They have wireless access in the jury pool room, so you can bring your laptop.
November 19, 2004 9:21 PM
 

Benjimawoo said:

John - Doesn't that leave you wide open to allegations of 'being influenced'?

Just a thought...

Jury duty - I've never done it myself, but I've been told it sucks!! Just thought I'd cheer you up :-)
November 19, 2004 9:25 PM
 

Randy Jackson said:

Quake
Rory the only way I found to successfully be excused from jury duty is to move to another state. Futunately for me that was in my plans. If relocation isn't in your plans reconsideration is an option. Otherwise there just ain't (new VB term) no nothin for it. (A future VB term as well) As mentioned in another temporal space, I think it was yeasterday on your BLOG, welcome to the Big Brain. It just keeps on commin', there ain't (see how I slipped that in) no runnin' and there ain't no hidin'. ( hidin' is a SQL query term applied to financial billing systems and legal presentations)
Good luck Rory and try to make the best out sitting in a room with a bunch of people who hate your guts for being a Microsoft Employee. Could be fun.
November 19, 2004 9:26 PM
 

Allyn*78 said:

November 19, 2004 9:26 PM
 

Roo said:

I also beleive this is Archon.. The best game ever. :)
November 19, 2004 9:26 PM
 

Ian said:

Bards Tale , I think.

I played it on the Amstrad CPC464 (with color monitor no less) and later on the Atari ST.

That phrase sounds very familiar..
November 19, 2004 9:38 PM
 

Haacked said:

Dude Archon rocks the Universe! Best damn game ever!

So am I right? Do I win bonus points?!!! I want my bonus points!!! Where are they redeemable?
November 19, 2004 9:45 PM
 

Peter Stathakos said:

Archon baby... I miss my C64 :-(
November 19, 2004 10:01 PM
 

Peter Stathakos said:

Archon baby... I miss my C64 :-(
November 19, 2004 10:02 PM
 

Peter Stathakos said:

Sorry about that double post....

Bad slow server. Baaaddd...
November 19, 2004 10:07 PM
 

Dewayne Christensen said:

Archon += 1
November 19, 2004 10:09 PM
 

Christian Romney said:

do your civic duty and stop whining like a blind nutso baby. take your meds and go pass judgement on someone for heaven's sake. screw the other jurors. I say sweat with pride and drool on the bannister while you're at it. it wouldn't hurt to test if the ban on periodicals includes newspapers written in chinese. you're missing out. besides, why would you deprive US of the fine reading that would make?! :) D&D also has elementals. I think Diablo did too.
November 19, 2004 10:20 PM
 

Rory said:

Haacked -

"Dude Archon rocks the Universe! Best damn game ever!"

I don't know if I'd call it the "best damn game ever," but I *will* say that I was even still playing it on occasion as recently as last year, which is some staying power.

"So am I right?"

Yes!

"Do I win bonus points?!!!"

Yes!

"I want my bonus points!!!"

I'll give you 50!

"Where are they redeemable?"

Nowhere!
November 19, 2004 10:36 PM
 

Rory said:

Benjimawoo -

"John - Doesn't that leave you wide open to allegations of 'being influenced'?"

You know what?

*That* might be a very useful observation...

Maybe I can just make myself totally unqualified somehow.
November 19, 2004 10:43 PM
 

Christopher Bowen said:

You have to love when a minor part of a post grabs the lion's share of attention in the comments.

I won't be helping the situation.

There is actually an effort to recreate Archon that features play over LAN or internet:

http://www.archonevolution.com/

The screenshots look great. I hope they find the time to finish it (soon!)
November 19, 2004 10:43 PM
 

Rory said:

Christopher Bowen -

"There is actually an effort to recreate Archon that features play over LAN or internet"

I want that *now*.
November 19, 2004 10:51 PM
 

Rory said:

Christopher -

It'd also be cool if they did a PocketPC version, but I doubt that'll happen...
November 19, 2004 10:52 PM
 

Rabblecast said:

Rory, what did Dinoflagellates ever do to you to deserve you bad mouthing them like that?
November 20, 2004 2:08 AM
 

haacked said:

Ok, maybe not the BEST game ever. I think I got a little too excited there. I think Speedball is the best. Used to play that on the Amiga.
November 20, 2004 9:06 AM
 

Helge said:

Archon really brings back memories. The basilisk was my favorite.
November 21, 2004 11:41 AM
 

Matthew said:

<quote>
I think Speedball is the best.
</quote>

Bah. The Sentinel. On C64. And bonus points (???) for the reader who can remember its score as rated by ZZAP 64.
November 21, 2004 11:20 PM
 

Anonymous said:

Nethack - the One Game
November 22, 2004 12:09 AM
 

Andrew said:

There was something similar in a not especially good PS game, I think it was Spiral Saga. The name was as good as the game. I worked on it :(
November 22, 2004 3:01 AM
 

Anonymous said:

November 22, 2004 4:26 PM
 

Anonymous said:

whoa that turned out bad - i guess i'll just paste the url and hope it works.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=jury+nullification&btnG=Google+Search
November 22, 2004 4:27 PM
 

Mark said:

You're going about it all wrong. What you do is, you show up at court all jazzed and ready go, then say to the judge and prosecutor that you've been waiting for this day your entire life, and that you're going to be the best juror they've ever had because you can spot quilty people, "just like that!"

And the defense attorney responds;
"....Uhhhh, your honor, I think Mr. Blyth can be excused..."
November 22, 2004 11:00 PM
 

TrackBack said:

November 20, 2004 9:42 AM
 

TrackBack said:

Help Rory get out of jury duty..
November 22, 2004 1:39 PM
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