I usually try to stay away from this sort of thing, but couldn’t help myself this morning.
As I read the news while eating my cereal, I didn’t click on any stories, but instead just read the headlines and imagined what might be inside.
Below, just for you, I’ve compiled a few of these headlines with associated thoughts…
FBI probing Alabama Boy Scouts
First the Catholic priests do a little "probing," and now these guys.
Israel sources: Targeted killings to end
"We've decided that indiscriminate killing is the way to go."
McDonald's obesity suit revived
The suit was given CPR by a bystander and then taken to a local hospital where it is said to be recovering nicely, enjoying the Jello, and getting a cholesterol transfusion from Tammy Fay Baker after it ate one too many McSalads and accidentally got healthy.
Sun Opens Solaris Operating System
"Nobody was sure what to expect inside, but surely a small gnome eating Cheezee Nibbles on the couch wasn't one of them."
Soviet-era missile removed from eBay
The missile was found lodged in the company early this morning.
“That’s the fifth missile this week,” an eBay representative said.
Bush to seek $80 billion for combat zones
"I just think we can do so much more. I mean, do you realize that there are parts of the world that haven't been ravaged by war yet? We need to get to these places, and I need $80 billion to do it."