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I'm so old that "New" Coke isn't "New"

I was reflecting tonight on how my body has been falling apart, and I realized something: I’m getting old.

I’m so old that “New” Coke is so not new anymore that I know people who are so young that they don’t even remember the stuff or how it brought this country to its soft-drink-swilling knees back in the 80s to the sound of Max Headroom t-t-t-talking in the background on the 13–inch CRT Sony Trinitron television next to the Apple IIe while Bill Cosby pushed Jello Pudding Pops on regular old non-sattelite broadcast radio. B.A. Baracus was “pitying foo’s” and Buck Rogers was trying to hide his constant Wilma Dearing-inspired painted-on vinyl bodysuit erection. It was a different era.

And these people… these people who don’t know the dangers of “New” Coke… are old enough to vote.

That’s how old I am.

Shall I part my hair behind? / Do I dare eat a peach? / I shall wear white flannel trousers / And walk upon the beach

Crap.

So, take / These broken wings / And learn to fly again…

Published Sunday, March 13, 2005 6:42 AM by Rory

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Comments

 

Chris said:

Dude, how old ARE you? I wanted to ask you that when I saw you up in portland, but didn't want to bother you.
March 13, 2005 7:04 AM
 

Ralph Loizzo said:

Do you remember 300bps modems?

http://loizzo.blogspot.com/2005/03/trust-me-i-insist.html
March 13, 2005 7:11 AM
 

Rory said:

Chris -

"Dude, how old ARE you?"

Twenty-seven years.
March 13, 2005 7:13 AM
 

Rory said:

Ralph -

"Do you remember 300bps modems?"

I do, but there wasn't enough spare dough around the family to get a modem until they were up to 2400 BAUD.

But I've been there... Watching the text arrive, letter by letter :)
March 13, 2005 7:14 AM
 

Chris Lundie said:

You're older than you've ever been, and now you're even older!

http://www.tmbg.org/band-info/songs/lyrics/Older.html
March 13, 2005 1:45 PM
 

Chris said:

27? beah... not that old. this post does remind me of something my grandma told me as i was getting out of high school:

Grandma: So, what are you going to do with your career?

Me: Well, I think i'll be a computer programmer.

Grandma: Oh god! Why would you want to do that?

Me: What do you mean?

Grandma: I was a computer programmer for a while. I wrote COBOL. It was awful! Do you really want to be punching cards for the rest of your life?

yeah.. needless to day, times have changed. now, THAT'S old. ;)
March 13, 2005 9:26 PM
 

Richard Tallent said:

I'm 29. So thanks alot, now I'm going to have 80's flashbacks all day. Duran Duran, Punky Brewster, Cabbage Patch Dolls (the *original* ones with the butt tat and adoption papers), and He-Man. *sigh*.
March 13, 2005 10:27 PM
 

Rory said:

Richard -

"Duran Duran, Punky Brewster, Cabbage Patch Dolls (the *original* ones with the butt tat and adoption papers), and He-Man."

Punky! I had a crush on Soleil Moonfrye back in the day.

I did not, however, have a crush on He-Man, although I thought he was pretty awesome.
March 13, 2005 10:41 PM
 

Mark Miller said:

.../Learn to live so free/And when we hear the voices sing/The book of love will open up and let us in... Yeah, I remember that tune. It used to be one of my favorites. :)
March 14, 2005 11:45 AM
 

Rick said:

Yep, you are indeed old..... I can barely remember any of those things....
March 14, 2005 3:01 PM
 

Cliff said:

How about Garbage Pail Kids, Electric Boogaloo, Go-Bots, and Kung-Fu theater on Sundays? I can reach back that far and further. We are truly from a different era. As My father used to say, "Boy, that was before your time!"
March 14, 2005 6:24 PM
 

Mark Rosenberg said:

But do you remember records (black vinyl things with a hole in the middle and groves on both sides). I still have over 2,000 of the things, mostly of 80's bands (everyone from ABC to Oingo Boingo to The Who [not their best stuff] to even Duran Duran [the first album both with and without Girls on Film on it]). Yes I'm even older than you.
March 14, 2005 7:02 PM
 

skicow said:

I *loved* Max Headroom! Thought it was one of the best shows on TV when I was growing up...not sure why? maybe it was because Amanda Pays - who's so bloody hot - was in it and I was 17 years old and puberty was hitting me like a run-away freight train?
March 14, 2005 8:56 PM
 

Cliff said:

Wait a minute! Records? How about 45's? Not the weapon but the smaller vinyl thing with the bigger hole in it. And what of the adapter so you could play the older 45's on the newer record players? Remember the plastic discy-doo-hickey that went over the pin-hole pole on your record player? And when you lost it you got real ghetto you'd improvise and try to center the record just so that it wouldn't wobble. Those were the days!
March 14, 2005 8:58 PM
 

Cliff said:

And then ya' got eight tracks. Rory, are you up on that? The plastic cartridges that forced you to drive around the block when you wanted to hear your favorite song again. And what happened to the Kool-Aid man? Rememebr the original "Oh Yeah!" bussing through the walls? How come he never spilled a drop when he broke in? Why ain't nobody ever clean up the shattered wall after him?
March 14, 2005 9:02 PM
 

MikeOB said:

For me it was a day at work when I slowly starting to realize that all the people around me were born after Frampton Comes Alive...
March 15, 2005 6:49 PM
 

Anonymous said:

horney
April 5, 2005 7:15 PM
 

OG said:

I’ve heard of the Rolling Stones, that was a game I played as a kid.
I’d
stand at the top of a hill, we’d let the stones roll down the hill,
whosever
stone rolled farthest won.
August 26, 2005 9:41 PM
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