I’ve spent most of my time this week getting caught up on work related administrivia. Turns out that, when you leave town on and off for a couple months in a row, things build up. I’m paying for that now.

To keep myself from going completely crazy (I find paperwork and administrative tasks to be about as pleasant as the idea of trimming my nose hairs with a Flowbee), I’ve been keeping the TV turned on in the background. By doing this, I’m hoping to fool my brain into believing that, rather than scanning receipts and checking boxes, I’m actually in the middle of the longest running one-person TV marathon Super Party ever.

It’s not working.

But, last night, they were showing Dune on the Sci-Fi channel. I wandered back by the TV to watch for a couple minutes. I had managed to only procrastinate for about forty of the previous sixty minutes, and I thought I deserved a reward for that.

A few seconds into the broadcast, I found myself speaking along with the movie. I’ve seen it quite a few times, and I seem to have memorized big chunks of it.

Here’s the deal, though: In French. I was speaking along in French.

I’ve watched the dubbed version more times than I’ve watched the English version.

That’s when I realized that, regardless of how slowly I may be plodding along with my paperwork, I’m still Number One in something.

I hereby award myself the “Most Trivially and Completely Stupid and Least Likely to Save My Buttocks in a Bar Fight Skill in the Entire Universe” award for being able to recite Dune in French.

If you think you can challenge me on that, then I’m willing to listen, but you’ve got to admit that I have a strong case here.