I had anxiety-ridden fever dreams all last night. Ate way too much before falling asleep, and my dreams seem to have been affected by the six hours of indigestion which followed.

My favorite creepy dream from the night was about Steve Jobs (I dream about him every so often).

In this one, Steve was a fetus.

That, alone, is kind of creepy, but allow me to elaborate.

Steve was a fetus, but the fetus had a fully developed Steve-Head. It was Steve Jobs’ current head attached to the body of the fetus.

That’s a little creepier, but it gets better. Hang on.

The fetus had an enormous erection. Huge. And curving like a scimitar up toward the heavens.

Fetus-Steve was also glistening with amniotic fluid, and he was nestled in the fleshiscular folds of the body in which he was gestating (Apple Computer Company?).

In case anybody missed the metaphor, by the way, it goes like this:

Steve Jobs + Fetus + Erection == Infantile power hungry Super CEO.

I also feel that, having brought this metaphor into the world, it’s my responsibility to ask, in the name of all that is good and clean in the universe, that nobody attempt to Photoshop this image into existence (if, however, you break this rule, then please send me the results).