After flushing a toilet handle down a toilet today, I drove off in my car. Not at a high rate of speed, as that probably would have given me away, but, rather, slowly and methodically, with the kind of care usually reserved for a mare licking the placenta off of her clumsy newborn foal.

Since I typically drive at about five times the speed limit in any given area, I found myself with a whole lot of attention to blow on things other than the road ahead. I don’t know how people can stand to drive at twenty miles an hour. It’s dull. Really, really dull.

One of the things I spotted in my slow journey through downtown Portland was a guy standing on a street corner, using a large hoop apparatus to create soap bubbles the size of basketballs. He held the hoop in the air, covered in soap, and swung it in such a way that the bubble would form, break off, and float away.

He had a bucket at his feet with a sign on it that said, “TIPS.” He was surrounded by a small group of people. A couple people, to my surprise, were tipping.

I had two thoughts, one right after the other.

The first thought was, Wow. The economy must really be in shambles if people have resorted to blowing bubbles for money.

My next thought was, Wow. The economy must really be doing well if people are willing to pay someone for blowing bubbles like that.

I don’t know what to think.

I’m confused.