While it might sound like a strange endorsement of a product, one of my favorite things about my new Windows Media Center is that it has made it substantially easier for me to devote time to really stupid things.

There are shows on television I never would have watched before the WMC. Things so bad, pointless, and stupid, that I never would have bothered to switch on and watch them. But, give me a nice menu driven guide from which I can record these idiotic shows for later viewing, and I’m suddenly all over it.

I currently have, among other recorded items, Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown and Fright Night sitting on my WMC. If it weren’t for this fancy PVR technology, I never again in my whole life would have watched either of these movies (I might still go my whole life without watching them again, but at least I have the choice now).

I’ve also been recording tons of shows on UFO mysteries. They’re totally awesome, and every episode of every UFO mystery show is comprised of:

– Part One: This is where creepy music is played while the different elements of the UFO story are played out by actors who are so bad they aren’t allowed to speak – the action is narrated by some guy with a deep, gravelly baritone who knows just which words to emphasize in order to drive the point home that what we’re seeing is not of this Earth.

– Part Two: This is where a group of dorky “Ufologists” go out and interview 200 year old people who can’t remember what they had for breakfast, let alone what happened in “that field” back in 1805.

– Part Three: This is where “startling new evidence” in the case is unveiled for the first time. It is often referred to as the “smoking gun” of said case.

– Part Four: Some bearded ape with a pipe gets frothy at the mouth while he talks about how the smoking gun from Part Three isn’t as valuable as was hoped because part of the evidence is being held under lock and key by an unnamed government entity that is engaged in a decades long cover up involving everybody from Abraham Lincoln to Jesus Christ.

– Part Five: Dramatic music is played over clips from the first four parts while the show’s narrator says something along the lines of, “And so what really happened at the Wisconsin sugar mill in 1863 involving the volcano and the glowing lights is a mystery that will never be solved.”

– Part Six: An ad for Depends comes on. This means that you forgot to turn off the TV. Stop watching at this point.

One of my favorite bits of these UFO shows is the interview portion. I love the people they get, and I love the credulity of the “investigative team” that goes out to have tea and talk extra-terrestrials with them…

Yup.

I’ve felt my IQ lower in conjunction with my increasing TV habits, but, seriously, this is a great way to pass the time while eating your oatmeal in the morning.