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Pillows - WHY

here’s the deal OK I have this job and it makes me go to places where i talk and stuff and they make me stay in hotels because they dont’ aren’t going to buy me houses everywhere i go (duh!!!) so i stay in hotels and they make me because my family will forgoet who i am if i do this long enough and then my company can kidnap me and make me works in teh software mines as a SLAVE but in the hotels here is what i don’t get is this:

WHY IS THERE SO MANY PILLOWS HOTELS?>?!!!!! OK!!!!

no but look:

Hotel_too-many-pillows

i count

1… 2… 3…. 4…..

wiat

i lost count becuase of an earthquake (i think that’s what it was i don’t know)

1… 2…. 3…. 4…. 5…. 6…. 7!!!!

ok WAIT

SEVEN PILLOWS HOTEL WHY???!!!?!

is there suppose to be SEVEN people sleeping in MY bed??? OK! WHARE’S THE PARTY!! I WILL BRING A BEER>!!! HA HAhahahaha

but no seriously tell me why because WHY   ARE THERE SO MANY PILLOWS?

wait i mean WHARE AM I SPOSED TO SLEEP!!! ON THE BATHTUB? BECAUSE THERE’S NO ROOM ON THE BED BECAUSE THE BED IS SEEM OBVIOUSLY FOR THE PILLOWS!!!! ok

wait

all i did is i made a stack and then i called it i mean i gave it a name and here it is i call it PILLOW MOUNTAIN:

Hotel_pillow-mountain

and so is that why the pillows?

but serious? why all the pillows hotels?

did you read about my soontime offer and thing i’’d need them? oh because not yet but NO LISTEN GOD JUST SHUT UP JUST !!!! SHUT !!!! UP !!!!!! WAIT

please hotel why all the pillows?

GADS.

Published Wednesday, May 10, 2006 7:05 AM by Rory

Filed Under:

Comments

 

Aurelio said:

I never really understood the whole idea behind that neither, and I'm talking about beds with 4-5 pillows. I think by having 7 they are kind of mocking the idea of having more than 2 pillows on a bed. Who knows.

Anyhow, I hear you are going to be at the Inland Empire .NET User’s Group next month. Do you have a presentation topic yet?
May 10, 2006 7:28 AM
 

Pimp Daddy said:

There has been many times where I have asked that question myself. It's ridiculous. You only really need a maximum of two to a bed.

BTW, If you're wondering who I am, I'm a CS student at the University of Hull (Rob Miles is my Final Year Project supervisor).
May 10, 2006 9:44 AM
 

punky said:

Seven Pillows Hotel - that's a nice name for a hotel, that is. I would stay there. Or maybe AMERICA COMPANY could sponsor me so I could start it myself.
May 10, 2006 9:52 AM
 

Ongen said:

I suffer a similar issue in the hotel I am living in at the moment (again - work related) - however this place has a "Pillow Menu". I can choose the filling (including a latex based one?!) and all 7 will be replaced with pillows with the relevant filling!!

Pillow Menu!
May 10, 2006 9:55 AM
 

can you say Pillow Fort! yay! said:

>SEVEN PILLOWS HOTEL WHY???!!!?!
>is there suppose to be SEVEN people sleeping in MY bed???

two pillows per full sized person in the bed? i always hate having to order extra pillows for the third or fourth person.

SEVEN PUNCTION MARKS ON THE END OF YOUR SENTANCE WHY???!!!?! was one or two not enough?
May 10, 2006 10:30 AM
 

A said:

Because in Hollywood they show ancient Romans emperors wallowing in Hedonism, sprawled on large beds on >7 pillows, popping grapes in their (respective) mouths, with scantily clad slave girls serving wine that pours down their beards, having fun and women, laughing loudly like hyenas....you get the picture.

Hotels want to make you feel like a Roman Emperor with all 7 pillows ; minus the grapes,slave girls,wine,women and beard.
May 10, 2006 11:33 AM
 

Secret Squirrel said:

Why?

D'uh. They are for pillow fights, obviously!
May 10, 2006 12:52 PM
 

Bil Simser said:

They're obviously there for people that need to cuddle with something at night.
May 10, 2006 1:25 PM
 

nathan said:

that post felt like i was reading the "sound and the fury".. you know that book that tells the story from three different perspectives - and the third is a stream of consiousness from a mentally challenged dude?

Yea...

I hated that book.
May 10, 2006 3:03 PM
 

nathan said:

but i liked teh post.

=)
May 10, 2006 3:04 PM
 

Soft Fluffy Pillows said:

Look in the closet. I bet there are a couple more in there.

My guess is that hotels are where pillows mate and create little pillow (I noticed you have a baby pillow there). And in some places it becomes like tribbles. Why do you think Priceline hired Capt Kirk?
May 10, 2006 3:05 PM
 

Mark said:

--“BTW, If you're wondering who I am, I'm a CS student at the University of Hull (Rob Miles is my Final Year Project supervisor).”

No, I wasn’t (but thanks for asking)

--“SEVEN PILLOWS HOTEL WHY???!!!?!”

Very simple actually, the number of pillows has a one-to-one relationship to the number of people in the bed. You obviously must have given them the wrong idea.
May 10, 2006 3:53 PM
 

What the hell said:

Who the hell wrote this? It wasn't Rory unless he died and this is what came from the computer they buried with him as small flesh eating bugs crawled over the keys.
Where's the quality control?
May 10, 2006 4:53 PM
 

Andy said:

I like the "12 year old rant on a MMORPG forum" style of writing.
May 10, 2006 5:47 PM
 

Mark said:

--"Who the hell wrote this? It wasn't Rory unless he died and this is what came from the computer they buried with him as small flesh eating bugs crawled over the keys.
Where's the quality control?"

This isn't really that hard to understand if you factor in everything our beloved Rory has been going through these past few weeks...

SELECT quality FROM neopoleon
WHERE off_hours = ‘hotel room’
AND state_of_mind = ‘sleeping pills’ AND OR ‘vodka’
May 10, 2006 5:56 PM
 

Ian said:

I hope you didn't go on to sleep on (or with) the pillow on the bottom of teh pillow mountain.
who knows (I can have a guess) at the last time the chair you stacked it on was cleaned.

So, Marriott your choice of hotel these days? They changed their beds (And pillow count) to match Sheraton a while back. I wish they'd do a duvet rather than the crappy blankets though.

"two pillows per bed" ? Umm, I like at least two each. One pillow is not enough for my gigantic cranium.

May 10, 2006 5:57 PM
 

Rory said:

Aurelio -

"Anyhow, I hear you are going to be at the Inland Empire .NET User’s Group next month. Do you have a presentation topic yet?"

Yes:

Windows Mobile something-something.

Probably data stuff. Like SQL Mobile + PocketPC.
May 10, 2006 6:28 PM
 

Rory said:

punky -

"Or maybe AMERICA COMPANY could sponsor me so I could start it myself."

AMERICA COMPANY shall sponsor your NOTHING.

Per the articles of AMERICA COMPANY and as regards to the Neopoleon County Blue Laws:

- No pillows shall be arranged in groups more than two on any bed, and only as many under such conditions as the bed is to be occupied by a couple which has been properly ox-married. Dis-coveries of beds with pillows in quantities greater than two shall be dropped from the highest mountain with the sleeper still a-slumber therein, and the sleeper's screams upon a-wakening recorded and played back for all.

And:

- AMERICA COMPANY, as an operation of commerce within Neopoleon County, shall not sponsor ideas brought forth by those named "punky." It is stricly forbidden, as foretold by the Neopoleon Appendium to the Bible in which book it is told that the nine-headed serpent of Morgraine shall appear upon the land to swallow all in his fire-innards should said law be violated.

Seriously. You don't want to fuck with that, do you?
May 10, 2006 6:35 PM
 

Rory said:

Ongen -

"Pillow Menu!"

I say!
May 10, 2006 6:36 PM
 

Rory said:

Bil -

"They're obviously there for people that need to cuddle with something at night."

That crossed my mind, but...

What kind of person needs to cuddle with *a something* at night?

WEIRD. MY WEIRD METER IS GOING OFF. OH, NO. LOOK OUT. IT'S IN THE RED. WARNING. WARNING. ALERT. WEIRD METER ALERT 5. STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY FALLING. WEIRD METER ALERT 12. DANGER.
May 10, 2006 6:39 PM
 

Rory said:

Soft Fluffy Pillows -

"Look in the closet. I bet there are a couple more in there."

I did.

And there were.

But it was a couple times ten.

There were, like, twenty pillows in there. It's like it's just a pillow closet, meant for the storage of pillows.

Maybe I'll add them to Pillow Mountain and update the photo.
May 10, 2006 6:41 PM
 

Rory said:

Dear What the Hell -

"Who the hell wrote this? It wasn't Rory unless he died and this is what came from the computer they buried with him as small flesh eating bugs crawled over the keys."

This is what happens when you:

- Spend a lot of time alone on the road and have only MySpace profiles and the horrible poetry of forlorn 14 year old Xanga bloggers to keep you company

- Read much too much of the above mentioned sources of literature

- Post in the style of said literature

"Where's the quality control?"

I hired the Windows ME team for QA.

Why? Is something wrong?
May 10, 2006 6:44 PM
 

Rory said:

Mark -

Your query is off:

"SELECT quality FROM neopoleon
WHERE off_hours = ‘hotel room’
AND state_of_mind = ‘sleeping pills’ AND OR ‘vodka’"

It should actually be:

"SELECT quality FROM neopoleon
WHERE off_hours = ‘hotel room’
AND state_of_mind = ‘sleeping pills’ AND OR ‘rum’"

I drink rum.

Not vodka.

You're FIRED FROM AMERICA COMPANY.

But I'll re-hire you soon.

Wait...

OK. You're back.

Welcome aboard!
May 10, 2006 6:46 PM
 

Rory said:

Ian -

"So, Marriott your choice of hotel these days?"

Ahh... the secret handshake of the road warrior:

"I can recognize hotels by the wallpaper!"

Freak :)
May 10, 2006 6:47 PM
 

Rory said:

Pimp Daddy -

"Rob Miles is my Final Year Project supervisor"

Word to the students of Rob Miles.
May 10, 2006 6:55 PM
 

Matt said:

Looks comfy to me. Perhaps those pillows are breeding like rabbits, and they're actually some sort of weird mixture between rabbit and pillow, so the hotel doesn't have to buy pillows... just breed them.
Rabbillow. Rillow. Something like that.
May 10, 2006 6:58 PM
 

Ian said:

"I hired the Windows ME team for QA." - Classic!

"I can recognize hotels by the wallpaper! " - room service menu gave it away, but yeah- the bedspread looked familiar ;-)
May 10, 2006 7:06 PM
 

BigJim in STL said:

A sign you work for a real nice company! The fleabag hotels I go to have 2 compressed tiny pillows for a king bed. I have never been to a place with that many pillows!
May 10, 2006 7:15 PM
 

Chucky said:

Pillows hide the marks on the headboard.
May 10, 2006 7:56 PM
 

Dave said:

Seriously, dude. You have no idea how lucky you are. Some of us don't even have *one* pillow. Some of us have to choose between sleeping fully clothed on the hard earth with no pillow vs. rolling our sneakers up in our jeans and hoping that the extra four inches of head elevation will cause enough blood to drain out of our brain that we'll be able to pass out before our tobacco-stained nervous systems register how fucking cold and uncomfortable we are. I would *kill* to be on a business trip with 7+ pillows. I would physically kill you for that.

Cheers,
Dave
May 10, 2006 9:02 PM
 

Maya said:

7 pillows makes one pillow doll. One really big pillow doll. The other 7 in the closet is backup. You always want backup offsite.
May 10, 2006 11:45 PM
 

punky said:

<Rory>AMERICA COMPANY [...] shall not sponsor ideas brought forth by those named "punky."</Rory>

Fine. Be that way. I'll deal directly with MR MIKOSHIBA KIYOHIKO from now on.

May 11, 2006 9:34 AM
 

Rob said:

Obvious. Just obvious. You sleep on all of them and they make you more clever. Haven't you heard of "The Seven Pillows of Wisdom".

Thank you and good night.....
May 14, 2006 6:32 PM
 

Jack said:

They are kept sooooo many to be used as quilt in case the whether is cold. Ha ! Ha! Ha! ):
May 18, 2006 10:12 AM
 

jacob said:

Pillow Mountain, nice name, now trying sleeping with your head on the top of your so-called "pillow Mountain".
May 19, 2006 11:32 AM
 

TrackBack said:

SUPER PILLOW MOUNTAIN 2000
May 11, 2006 4:18 AM
 

TrackBack said:

I'm a bad man
May 12, 2006 6:37 AM
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