Hi, Alaska.

Hey.

I just wanted to say that things got started off on the wrong foot this morning, but that they seem to have turned out for the best in the end.

I know you didn’t mean any harm this morning when you sent that crazy man in the 4x4 careening around the corner at a high rate of speed, yelling at me to “get out of the ****ing road,” and then honking while flipping me off, presumably angry because he had missed me. I suppose I could have been a good sport by remaining stationary and letting him flatten me, but instinct took over and suggested that I take a dive for the sidewalk.

No. I take no personal offense to this at all, even though the walk signal was quite in my favor. It was clearly a misunderstanding between you, me, and someone who probably had a half-rack of Schlitz for breakfast followed by a nice relaxing dose of PCP. I’ve had a few bad days myself, and lord knows nothing calms the nerves like hitting the angel-dust and then trying to run over out of state visitors.

Ha ha. We can laugh about it now.

See?

Ha ha. You crack me up, Alaska.

Honestly, by the end of today, you had made up for the man-beast who tried to take my life, the sun that never sets, the people who jog at 2:00 AM with smiles on their faces like nothing’s wrong, and the rather poor taste with which someone deposited in my hotel room this statue of a forlorn looking dog that’s clearly waiting for a master who will never come home following a hunting accident gone totally wrong:

Although the picture is a little fuzzy, making it difficult to appreciate the finer details of the piece, I wanted to point out that this is most probably the first statue of an animal I’ve ever seen that actually has mange.

The dog’s purpose is a mystery to me. As of this writing, I believe that he is meant to guard the bowl of plastic ivy (not pictured) situated on the table next to him, although one can’t be sure about these things.

But, to get back to the point, you redeemed yourself.

You redeemed yourself by providing me with one of the most pleasurable MSDN Events I’ve given all year. The audience was a gentle thing, generous with laughter, and tactful in reproach. A pleasure.

So thank you, Alaska.

All is forgiven.

Love,

– Rory