Ya know, I kinda ripped your sister in the last post, because of her comments. Now, it seems, based on her comments, your own, and the context in which you placed her comments, she was not far off the mark, if at all. In your quest for validation / sympathy , you threw her under the bus. You only quoted the part of the conversation that would elitic response on your behalf. Nice work. Dick.

Chris -

I don't know what you're talking about.

What I will say is this: maybe you shouldn't have speculated about my sister based on one or two sentences.

By extension, you should probably hold back on further speculation based on a few more paragraphs. If you think the totality of the complexities of a familial relationship can be represented in a comment of a blog post, then you're completely mad.

I could write quite a bit more here to defend myself, but I learned from the last post that it's pointless, and that people seem to think they can figure out the whole story from a few little soundbites.

So...

Um.

Fuck off?

Yes. That's probably the right response, and about all for which I have patience.

I'm wondering if you have a male reader (or a friend of one) in England with a girlfirend named Nicole in the US who now wants to take you out back, stomp you into the ground and stuff you in a gnome infested ATM.

Also, I'm not so sure being sad because you lost something (someone) gives you a sole; it shows that you hate to lose things, but it neither confirms nor denies the exsistance of a sole.
If you really want her happiness then, let her go you must (in a very yoda (grover) like voice). I'm betting she'll realize again what was missing with the English dude to make her stray in the first place and come a knocking on your door. Either that or it was just the distance and she'll go get hitched and live happily ever after, in which case you're beat, but you have 300 dollar shades and a desire for women's sweaters to keep you going.


That aside, it's good to see siblings with so much love to spare. I hear from my sister only when she needs a favor. The call always goes like this:
Sis: Hi Dan, How's my favorite brother (only brother) You are the best, I love you.
Me: Yea, what do you want?
Sis: What are you doing this weekend?
(she always makes sure the schedule is clear before asking , sort of a trap)
Me: What do you need me to do.
Sis: I need you to move all my office stuff, me and so-and so got a new office, can you help at 8AM on Saturday?
By the way, this is what I did this past Saturday both the move out and in to the new place were second floor moves- no elevators.
I know I'm the shmuck for saying yes, but she is my sister. And now I will not hear from her until she needs another favor.

I guess the good thing is, her mouth doesn't fill with vomit when she says she loves me, but it always ends up with me having a sore back.
Oh yes sibling love is grand.

dn -

"I'm wondering if you have a male reader (or a friend of one) in England with a girlfirend named Nicole in the US who now wants to take you out back, stomp you into the ground and stuff you in a gnome infested ATM."

I rather doubt it, given that:

1. He knew about me

and

2. She's still with him

"That aside, it's good to see siblings with so much love to spare."

This is brand new. Before that comment, she had never before told me that she loved me (true story).

Not for a lie, or a favor, or anything.

So it's actually a pretty big deal.

all joking aside (lots of stuff are aside today) I understand where you are at with your sister. I have 2 sisters, one I got along with (mostly) and the other not so much (this would be the favor sister) it took a long time for us not to fight, as I recall not living under the same roof helped a lot, but you realize your family and there is a bond there. In my case a weird one, I'm not so sure how much we like each other most of the times, but she is my sister and I do love her, and I will be there when she calls but we still haven't come around to a place where she is going to call me up and say hey lets go to dinner. It's all part of growing up.

Also in case in didn't come off as so, I was just busting balls with the English dude. It always sucks when love doesn't go as expected, which is more often then not. I could tell you some trite bullshit line about It's better to have loved a fish in the ocean (or something like that) but the truth is, you pick yourself up, go out buy your sweater find a rockin' chick who digs you for you and try not to spend to much time looking back on what could have been, it just hurts.

>What I will say is this: maybe you shouldn't have speculated about my sister based on one or two sentences.

WHAT? After your "woe is me, I got the boot" and in the midst of all your "sobbing", you said your sister called you "completely soulless and lacking in depth or caring for other people". Good god man, you paint her as a letch! I didn't do that, I was only repsonding to what you put out there. Read that again . . . what YOU put out there. You can tell me to fuck off, no worries there. But man, you ARE a pussy if you don't apologize to your sister for making her look like you did. You shouldn't do that to people you love. AND, if you don't want people to react strongly to the shit you put out there, then don't put this kinda shit out there. Ya Blowhard.

Chris-

Rory is likely busy not responding to your comment. In any case, you look like a complete ass.

Fuck off.

A guy,

Really? Are you really "A guy"? I doubt it since you don't have the balls to put your name on your post.

Done. Out. Bitches.

It sounds like you have a similar relationship to your sister as I have with mine. I've always looked up to her, even when she's made huge mistakes in her life, I've used them as learning experiences. And in a way, I've always been jealous of her ability to bounce back from them, and keep on truckin'. I've gotten to the point where I no longer want to be just like her, instead I want to outdo her so that she will be as proud of me as I am of her, but I'm afraid it just comes across as me being a show-off, and rubbing my successes in her face.

Chris,

Perhaps you should go re-read the first post about the comment his sister made. It wasn’t written as an ‘oh, woe is me’ statement. It was in there as a point that prompted some self reflection on Rory’s part. (when you re-read it, you will also note that he very clearly states that she was not the only one who had expressed that opinion of him in the past week).

And the point of a personal blog is to talk about how you view the world in a snapshot of time… the good, the bad, and yes, sometimes even the ugly. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what the context of a conversation is – all that stands out when you’re in that frame of mind is one or two sentences.

But to turn around and attack Rory because you made yourself look like an idiot by attacking his sister in your response… Perhaps you need to do your own self reflection on why you’re so angry about life.

Princess Jenn,

My initial comment was not an attack on his sister, it was in defense of Rory. However, when I find out that the context in which he positioned his sister was not accurate, I felt dupped. I have reread what he said, and regardless of the personal reflection part, he still made his sister sound like a creature. That is the part that pisses me off.

I just refuse to be sucked into the Rory defense crowd. you folks are silly and not one of you has mentioned that he made his sister sound bad.

"Really? Are you really "A guy"? I doubt it since you don't have the balls to put your name on your post"

Yeah, sometimes when you are showing your negative side, you don't really want people to know who you are. Apparently, you dont really mind if you look like an ass in front of everyone.

LOL! Ouch. I think my fellow "guy" and Princess Jenn have pegged you there Chris. I'm not a member of the "Rory defense crowd" you speak of (love the guy, but he's obviously wrong sometimes (i know, i know, i was shocked too the first time i found out too)), but I still sympathize with the "Chris is being a dick" crowd.

Weird.

Plus it's just fun to call you a dick. So I kind of like that too.

Hell is paved with good intentions, and it looks like the "post that shall remain nameless" has paved a nice sized 12 lane super-highway. I re-read the post and all of the comments and I can see the intentions in all of them, even the "pussy" or "grow some balls" responses despite their flawed delivery method.

Personally I felt a little bait and switch action but in no way was I duped. I could have not commented and said nothing but by doing so I have to accept what emotions I stirred up. I commented on personal experience, hopefully not attacking a person directly but the MINDSET or characteristics all humans share. Patterns imerge in more places than I care to think about so I try to focus on them more than an individual but that line is definately blurred with my writing style.

It's obvious any mention of the entire situation is a little tender. It's like pushing the soft spot in a baby's head repeatedly, thinking the baby won't cry the next time. I can't go back and erase what I said, nor would sorry even cut it since everything is valid in context. It's also a clear indicator that in some instances people just need you to say "sorry", not offer hypthetical what-ifs based on a 1 page representation of a night over a period of a month. I feel that behavior enables the victim syndrome and the hope was that by speculating at least the logical thoughts in my head may make sense to you. Problem was those thoughts failed repeatedly, so much so that I just gave up. You are choosing much of how you feel but that doesn't give you anything to work with. How do you not choose it? Do you even notice or care? It also doesn't matter at this point as you may be self medicating with the feelings of sadness (a speculation, based on the fact that I do this and it's almost as if the pain feels good). The hope is that at some point it'll be okay to talk about it but it's obvious this is not that point nor would it magically happen tomorrow.

Chris -

"WHAT? After your "woe is me, I got the boot" and in the midst of all your "sobbing", you said your sister called you "completely soulless and lacking in depth or caring for other people"."

Actually, I didn't say that she called me soulless in the middle of my rather bad moment. I said that she had been in town that week and that she had done so, but I didn't say it was *during* the time when I was Dealing with everything.

"Good god man, you paint her as a letch!"

You might want to look up the word "lech."

"You can tell me to fuck off, no worries there."

You called me a "dick," you cock. What do you expect?

You're being totally judgmental - first about my sister, then about me, and both times without having all the information you should have before opening your mouth.

"But man, you ARE a pussy"

See - it's this sort of thing that gets people to say...

Fuck off.

" if you don't apologize to your sister for making her look like you did."

Look at *this* post - read the comment I wrote in response to her - I've been pretty nice considering she called me "soulless" last week.

And why I should apologize to her because *you* misinterpreted the post is beyond me.

Just remember, as people respond to you negatively that:

1. You passed judgment on her without knowing the facts

2. You passed judgment on me without knowing the facts

3. You called me a "dick" for your mis-reading of the post

Don't act surprised when people don't rush out to tell you what a saint you are.

Like George said, I can be very, very wrong, but your tact is rather lacking, and it isn't going to help you make your case.

Rory,

On the letch thing . . . you're right, I should have called YOU the letch.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Letch

Also, I didn't judge your sister - this is what I said:

"I don't care who they are, if you have people in your life telling you this shit, then you need to have as little exposure to them as possible. Anyone exposed to this vitriolic crap is bound to have issues."

I judged what she said, not her. I suggested you stay away from people that call you "soulless" - guess I didn't know there was an upside to such a thing. I am sure she is perfectly sweet as pie. And, from the sounds of it, a remarkable judge of character.

I DID judge you, but since you threw your sis under the bus, you deserve it.

The "dick" I threw out was out of line.

"your tact is rather lacking" - OH COME ON! This criticism from Rory Blyth holds NO water. Read your own blog.

Ok, I'm done. You will never hear from me again. Have a good one, I enjoyed the banter.

"Done. Out. Bitches."

"Ok, I'm done. You will never hear from me again. Have a good one, I enjoyed the banter. "

I assumed you were done the first time, what with you saying "Done" and all, but apparently not...

How many times are you going to quit Rory's blog?

Chris -

"I DID judge you, but since you threw your sis under the bus, you deserve it."

I still don't know what you mean by "threw your sis under the bus." I'm not convinced that you do, either.

"I judged what she said, not her."

People are defined by their actions. If you're judging what she said, then you're judging her.

"The 'dick' I threw out was out of line."

Yes. It's the reason we're having this little flamewar, actually.

You're making some big assumptions about me and my family. That alone is enough - calling me a dick on top of it isn't going to get you a warm response.

"'your tact is rather lacking' - OH COME ON! This criticism from Rory Blyth holds NO water. Read your own blog."

When I'm writing to someone about something serious, I actually am rather tactful. I know I'm flippant - but only toward the things that don't matter.

I've made mistakes, of course. Just like anybody. And then, unlike most people, I apologize for them.

But only when it's appropriate.

As for reading my own blog - I do. It's awesome.

"Ok, I'm done. You will never hear from me again. Have a good one, I enjoyed the banter."

OK. Bye.

I didn't particularly enjoy the banter. I liked that you meant well in your comments - both toward me and my sister - but I don't like being called a dick when I don't deserve it (and I *know* when I deserve it - I've been there plenty of times).

I knew she couldn't have meant it that way. Nobody who knows you could call you souless and really mean it in a "I mean it forever and not just in the moment" kind of way.


I sure you have a lovely soul....in a jar somewhere on a desk or in a cupboard or something. Kidding.

On a totally unrelated note:

$300 Gucci's? No man.. it's all about the Oakely's.. (or a sweet pair of aviators).

If you must buy the things you gotta do it at an outlet store man... exact same product maybe a season old.

Seriously, i've gotten Oakley XX's for 37 bucks, Guess belts for $15, Quicksilver rashgards for 70% off.. the oulet stores are off the hook. (overstock.com is petty good too). In fact, other than Express I buy pretty much all my name brand stuff from outlets...

anyway....

"Also, I'm not so sure being sad because you lost something (someone) gives you a sole"

Wouldn't it be great, though? Free fish for the sad and lonely! You'd need to balance it out with chips for the cheerful, and that way you would encourage the sad and cheerful people to get together and share the bounty of the universe.