It's time, methinks, to rejoin society. Plain and simple.

Those of you who care will be happy to know that I'm feeling much better. Getting time off from work and a chance to mourn and reflect has had a very positive impact on my mental state. I still cry on a daily basis, but I expect that will eventually become more infrequent until it ceases entirely. That daily cry makes the rest of the day possible. It keeps me sane(-ish). Some days are tougher than others, but overall I feel pretty good about life right now, especially considering that I just got to spend six days with Thera. I wish I could get her in pill form so that I could distribute her fabulousness to the rest of you so you could have some idea and understanding of why I'm so wrapped up in her. Six very short days passed very quickly.

On other fronts, there's much to talk about. Much to discuss. I don't know where to begin. I expect I'll be pulling eighteen hour days for the next couple weeks.

My "professional" friends and contacts might be interested to know that I'll be leaving the MSDN Events team before long. I've had a great time and a great run, but at Microsoft it's normal (even expected) that employees take on new positions every couple of years. My couple of years have passed, and it's time to move on. I've narrowed my choices down to two options, one of which is up in Redmond, and the other of which is outside Microsoft.

That makes it a month of big decisions. Sometime within the next sixty days, I'll be picking up my entire life (read: my mattress) and moving to either Seattle or Manhattan. It all depends on where I think I can make the biggest difference. Either way, it's a win-win situation for me because both jobs sound fantastic. I can't talk about the details yet, but one would be similar to what I'm doing now, but a bit more focused (and in a different set of mediums - trust me - it could be very cool). The other job would be a back-to-my-roots technical position.

It's a tough decision. I love public speaking, but as I buried my head in Community Server this month, I got to remember how much I enjoy the problem solving that comes along with code. It's satisfying to have a problem that you know you can fix. All you have to do is figure out how. After beating your head against the wall about the death of someone you love, the little problems that code throws your way actually feel wonderful. It's something you can deal with. It's good.

I've also been given an opportunity that I won't discuss much yet, but it's a definite, and it's something I'll be doing in addition to whatever other work I do. It's something for which I feel greatly honored to have been selected. Sort of like a little dream-come-true situation, but I'll save those details until everything's up and running.

In short, there's a lot going on. My life, in the course of a month, has completely changed. New girl. New job coming. New Neopoleon. New situations.

And - the thing I never could have expected - the death of my grandmother has changed my perspective in so many ways that I actually feel like a different person. So different that it feels strange to be writing right now. Like I don't know who I am or what I'm supposed to say. I feel like I've forgotten what my favorite color is (assuming I previously had one).

It's amazing. And it's actually a good thing. Like my life is an Etch-a-Sketch and the hands of the Universe came over and shook everything up. Nothing looks the same to me. I don't take any of my friends for granted. If they didn't know before that I loved them, they know now. In fact, they're probably bloody sick of hearing me talk about how much I love them.

I feel human. My grandmother was the only person I had ever really opened up to. She was my best friend and my protector. With her gone, I've actually had to go out and become closer with other people. I tell my mother on a regular basis now that I love her. I know my aunt better than I ever have. I feel connected.

It's strange that my grandmother had to die for me to feel like I'm part of the rest of the world.

But that's what happened.

And I'll be back to write more later.

Comics, too. I have comics to draw.

As soon as that effing laptop-busting warranty repairman from Toshiba comes out to fix my tablet tomorrow.

Until then, hello again.

I missed you bastards.

I really did.