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I think I just got engaged again

I'm in a Thai restaurant right now, waiting for my bill.

A few minutes ago, one of the waitresses came to my table. She's this darling Thai lady who has very good taste and flirts with me whenever she can.

While I eat, she usually approaches my table. I'm used to this. When it happens, she'll linger for a few minutes, hang out, and chat with me about my life and what I've been up to - this is whether she's my waitress for the night or not. She's just so adorably curious about this mysterious hunk who comes into her restaurant on a regular basis that I just can't help but supply her with the conversation she so desires.

But she crossed a line tonight.

She approached my table as usual, but instead of chatting me up about my day, she wrapped her hands around my teacup. Unsatisfied with that experience, she then wrapped them around the teapot itself. Next, she lifted the pot to her bosom and held it there for a moment, looking at me, and telling me through her thick accent that she must keep her chest warm.

I didn't know what to say. I was in the middle of chewing a piece of tofu, and I think I had a bean sprout hanging off of my lip.

Then she put the teapot down and went away.

If there are any Thai people reading this, could you let me know what's going on here? Did she just, like, propose to me or something? Must I now sire her children? Is this a Thai way of expressing deeply felt emotions of an amorous sort?

Or were her boobs really just cold like she said?

Published Monday, October 30, 2006 6:55 PM by Rory

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Comments

 

It's a metaphore said:

Well rorwie, there is of course one easy way to tell - although this can be foiled with new technology (I like to call this technology "Padded Bras"). To tell:
Step one look... or better, stare at the teapot nested in her chest, then send your eyes first slightly left, then right of the teapot. You want to be looking about at the crest of her crest. The summit of her hills if you will.
Now she may have placed her arms in such a way as to foil one - or worse - both of these places. In which case your back to square of one. If you lucky though shes hasn't. check the material of her top in these places. If it looks like she has found a unique place to store tick-taks in her top, then she may, infact, be cold.
You might need to be persistant with this technique, if at first you don't suceed, then try, try, try again.

Happy Hunting Hon
October 30, 2006 7:43 PM
 

Jonathan Sampson said:

Dude, of course Thai chicks are going to dig ya man - You're probably the Ong Bak of their American Lotion-Enthusiasts Demographic. Regarding the teapot-bossom incident, I think that is a sure message, a cry for help if you will, a shreaking from her inner-beast saying "Rory! Release me! I need you and your lip-balmed-lips with you smooth man-hands - love me!"

Just my take - but I have seem a few Thai movies, so I know what I'm talking about.
October 30, 2006 9:04 PM
 

Stephen said:

(deep belly laugh) reading this blog always garners a strong reaction...

While the mercury has dipped below 20 (farenheit) overnight, depending on your location of course, this should by no means indicate that she was, indeed, cold. I second the previous commenter, and would humbly offer my services to chec as well. However, my wife would probably (no, make that certainly) disapprove of my involvement in such, uhm, observations...
October 30, 2006 9:09 PM
 

paulbz said:

haha.. which place it is so i can go while i'm in town
October 30, 2006 11:06 PM
 

Massif said:

Maybe she just really loves tea.

I mean, I can appreciate just having to hug a pot of tea now and then. But then again, I'm British, so I need regular transfusions of tea.

No, I imagine she just fancies the pants off you my man - and the whole teapot incident is a ruse to either a: test if you're gay or b: get you to notice her breasts.

Of course, once you've noticed a woman's breasts it tends to mean you're officially in their power - as they'll be able to distract you with their breasts while getting you to absent mindedly agree to whatever they're saying.

Just be careful not to fall into the trap, if you find yourself mumbling uncertainly "yeah, sure" then be very afraid.
October 31, 2006 1:16 AM
 

Jonathan Sampson said:

Rory, I did some research last night about the secret underground Thai blackmarket, and what I learned is shocking!

Apparently there is an entire group of these Thai "Godesses" running around up north working for their families back home in the black-market.

You've been marked, my man! Run!

What they do is use their Thai-ish good looks to lure in unsuspecting healthy men, and then lead them to their Thai bed of deceit for an evening - you wake up the next morning naked in a bathtub of ice!

She wants to sell your kidney's, man! She's been nourishing them these past few visits with sweet Thai food and Tofu, just as my research has indicated.

The next thing to look out for is a single black button on her shirt, it will indicate whether or not she's one of "them"!

</totallyNotTrue>
October 31, 2006 3:37 AM
 

Massif said:

Next time make sure to bring one of these http://www.shushhh.co.uk/index.asp?function=DISPLAYPRODUCT&productid=191 along to give to her, to prevent any further tea-molestation.

Of course, that could send out entirely the wrong message, hey ho! never mind.
October 31, 2006 4:26 AM
 

Blue said:

Well, to a woman it's clear that she wants you, Rory, whether she's Thai or Eskimo. ;)
October 31, 2006 4:39 AM
 

*ahem* said:

I think it's pretty obvious that she was coming on to you.  She's probably been coming on to you since the day she laid eyes upon you, but being of the male gender, you probably did not pick up on her subtle advances.  So she figured she'd really take it to the next level by having you stare at her tits, inadvertently of course.
October 31, 2006 6:59 AM
 

Mike said:

just to offer a contradictory position, i'm thinking cold boobs.
October 31, 2006 8:10 AM
 

cK said:

Were you wearing your Microsoft t-shirt?  If you are then she's after your money!  LOL  Because it can't be your good looks.  Beside what entree did you ordered?  If you were sucking on some noodle of that Pad Thai then you might have turn her on :)  Just my observation.  In my past experience with women if I eat things more disgustingly the more they are attracted to me.  Go figure!
October 31, 2006 8:50 AM
 

Scott Schecter said:

I swear to god, I'm going to start letting Rory bet on the Ponies for me,  with luck like yours, it can't go wrong.
October 31, 2006 8:51 AM
 

GuyIncognito said:

I got nothing...


"In Thailand people do not normally say 'good morning', 'good afternoon', 'good evening' or 'good night'. They greet each other with the word Sawadee, and instead of shaking hands, they put their palms together in a prayer-like gesture and bow slightly."

http://www.horizonmuaythai.com/Thailand/culture.html


"During courtship, a young woman would weave various special types of cloth for her suitor and also for herself and their household in preparation for their marriage."

http://www.umich.edu/~iinet/journal/vol7no3/Woodtikarn.htm


"Private Dancer - Writer meets Thai bargirl, falls in love, and lives to regret it."

http://www.stephenleather.com/unpub.html



October 31, 2006 8:55 AM
 

Jason said:

and here I thought "teacup" was code for something else entirely...
October 31, 2006 10:00 AM
 

D'Arcy from Winnipeg said:

Of course, Rory declined to mention what this "Thai lady" looked like. Let's review the paragraph with the proper imagry in place:

She approached my table as usual, flashing her one good tooth in her rotted-mouth smile. But instead of chatting me up about my day, she wrapped her hands around my teacup, her hairy knuckles a little too close for comfort. Unsatisfied with that experience, she then wrapped them around the teapot itself. Next, she lifted the pot to her bosom (which wasn't hard to do since she's 300 pounds and her bosom takes up most of the space in front of her) and held it there for a moment, looking at me, and telling me through her thick accent (and moustache) that she must keep her chest warm (or did she just say "would you like some more?")

I'm thinking its nothing like what Rory thought...just a message lost in translation.
October 31, 2006 2:39 PM
 

Tee said:

LOL
October 31, 2006 9:28 PM
 

(required) said:

This is normal. You must not get out much.

Just last week I dipped my penis into the coffee urn on table next to mine. Sure, I got some stares, but those "in the know" just kept working on their eggs Florentine.
November 1, 2006 8:55 AM
 

D'Arcy from Winnipeg said:

The weird stares were people trying to figure out why someone would make such a short stir-stick.
November 1, 2006 9:38 AM
 

sarchi said:

..it will be the next time you go there? she'll want more and that's not easy you could wear a mask or carry something to disguise yourself if she still wants more you know your in trouble and your going to need help this is all you have it's best to have an escape route a place you can do things in private that usually works for me
November 1, 2006 9:46 PM
 

JT said:

So have you been back to the restaurant ? Just in case she wants to emphasize the point more clearly next time (she might think you're either cute or stupid for not reacting) take an engagement ring with you. Thai women are absolutely fantastic. Every Thai woman I have met so far has been immensely kind-hearted, at peace with the universe and gorgeous. She might be the one, Rory. You may just end up having 12 kids with her and be together till you're 120. Just make sure she has no plans to import her family once you're married. It might also help to make sure she's never been a man. Weird shit can happen when you're not looking.

November 15, 2006 7:56 AM
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