Dear Diary,
I woke up this morning in a lot of pain again. This is normal when one of the side-effects of one of your prescription medications is edema.
Since you're just a stupid diary that doesn't know anything, let me tell you what edema is: it's an excessive buildup of fluids between tissue cells in the body.
In my case, it seems to be happening mostly in my hands. It's really neat because there's so much fluid buildup that it feels like I have arthritis. I also like it because it causes my hands to swell, and this, in turn, cuts off the circulation to them.
What's really great about that is the way it wakes me up every night about twenty times. There's nothing funner than being woken up by pain in your hands caused by swelling. It's not all fun and games, though - where it doesn't hurt, things are so swollen that circulation just stops, and what I get instead is numbness that typically lasts about half a day.
Half a day! Ha ha.
Each time I wake up in the night, I have to go for a short walk around the apartment, waving my hands around, trying to get the blood flowing again. It's like a super fun game, except that there's no point and nobody wins and there are no prizes.
This, along with the other side-effect of my meds, which is nausea often leading to vomiting, has ensured that I'm always in a spectacularly good mood. I can't think of a better way to pass the time than to be constantly under-slept, in pain, and sick to my stomach.
Ha ha ha! HO HO HO!
I'm really going to miss these meds. I've been on them for about a month now, but it feels like it's only been years. You can bet I'm going to put up a fight when they take them away from me this December.
I don't know what I'm going to do without them. I'll have to hit the streets in search of someone who can supply me with illegal drugs that cause hand swelling and vomiting. And if I can't find that, then I'll just resort to injecting water directly into my hands to get that good old feeling of funness back.
Oh, man, diary. Good times.
Good times...