While reading a book on writing tonight, I came across a quote from a literary critic. The section of the book I was reading was about point of view in fiction, and that's basically what the quote is about (when read in context). But, after reading the quote, I couldn't help but pause and think for a while.

As many of you know, I'm a steadfast practicing atheist, but I'm not a jerk about it. As long as you don't push your belief system on me, I won't push mine on you, and everything's cool.

I actually enjoy thinking about God. And the universe. And stuff like that.

That's why I loved this quote.

And here it is (authored by Elias Canetti):

It is very difficult for me to connect Tolstoy's discontent with his belief in God. Sometimes I think he believes in God in order not to admit his belief in himself; in order not to be arrogant. It is a real question, an immensely serious question: What takes the place of God when one is concerned with human beings and not with oneself? Does one need God in order not to become all too important to oneself? Does there have to be a final and supreme authority to whom one delegates responsibility? What control would one have if one permitted it to oneself? Agreement with oneself as the highest authority represents a sizeable part of corrupting power. How can this be prevented without the belief in God?

I went ahead and bolded text that particularly interested me.

These are questions I've pondered, but not so clearly as they're presented here.

I especially like this business about arrogance in the absence of a belief in God. It's been said occasionally that I'm a bit arrogant (although it's said mostly about my online persona - much less often about the "real" me). I wonder how much of that is a lack of feeling humbled by things far greater than myself.

I own a couple telescopes, and, when I was a teenager, I used them regularly. Some of my fondest memories are of sitting outside in the winter, freezing my ass off, and looking at the rings of Saturn, or the miniscule dots that were the four largest moons of Jupiter. Those nights left me with a profound sense of being part of something amazing and massive. I felt very small against the little visions that entered one end of my telescope and exited into my eye. It was humbling to be amazed by the rings of another planet when I knew that there were countless other planets orbiting countless other stars throughout the universe. I guessed that what I felt was probably similar to the humility felt by those who believe in God.

Even so, it's different. Typically, a god isn't delivered alone. You buy into the whole package, including religious texts, laws, morals, and so on. The universe came to me without any of those things. The universe just is. In that respect, even though I feel humbled by this universe thing, it doesn't give me any reason not to feel arrogant.

The quote causes me to think about how important I am to myself. It makes me wonder if I consider myself to be the highest authority in respect to myself. At the same time, I wonder if that's a bad thing. What if my answer to these questions is a simple "Yes"? Am I a bad guy? Am I corrupt? Why would it be bad to be arrogant, or to believe that I am my own highest authority?

And there are still other scenarios...

Let's pretend for a moment that God doesn't exist (this is not to start an argument about the existence of God - it's just another way of looking at the questions raised by the quote). In this case, wouldn't putting one's faith in God as the highest authority actually be the same as putting one's faith in oneself as the highest authority? That is, if God doesn't exist, then God would just be a figment of the imagination, and so indirectly become the highest authority in someone's life.

Interesting, no? Maybe not for some of you. But I certainly think so.

Anyway, that's all the pondering I'm going to do tonight. It's time to go to bed.

But... that's quite the quote up there, methinks...