Remember those weird goth kids you went to high school with? The ones who wore fishnet stockings, painted their nails black, wore too much eyeshadow, wrote "black rose" poetry, and knew that they were deeper than deep and so deep that you could never understand their pain because you're a shallow consumer robot who likes Starbucks and could never be as deep as them because they're just like soooooo deep?

If you were born earlier than about 1975, you probably don't remember these kids. So, I guess I should rephrase the question...

Remember those weird goth kids I went to high school with?

Well, they've got a new emo-angst site to infest.

I was checking out my Google ads (there had been reports of some rather strange ones popping up) when I saw one describing an interesting sounding site (by interesting, I mean "stupid"). To ensure I was acting in accord with the terms of my google AdSense service agreement, I didn't click on the link, but, rather, typed the URL out manually to be taken to this new, amazing site.

The first clue that the site was going to be lame was its title: "The Experience Project"

Whenever a title has the word "Project" at the end of it, it's best to steer clear. For me, it always brings to mind images of progressive modern acid jazz bands put together by rich white kids who grew up listening to Billy Joel and want to do something just as deep and heart-wrenchingly beautiful as what BJ did. I don't have any examples to back this up, though - it's just what comes to mind.

The second clue that the site was going to be lame was the site.

The homepage is basically just a cloud of tags. Tags, of course, are hip, and so having a huge page of nothing but tags must be really hip. Categories are stupid because the web is changing so fast that categories can't keep up. Tags are where it's at. People who use categories aren't living the Web 2.0 dream. They're stuck on a beta build of the web. Like, Web 0.8 or something. Get a clue, category people. And if you can't figure it out, read "Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking" - it's an amazing book that will change your life by confronting you with a simple, unproven premise, and then page after page of anecdotal evidence. It's also what all the Web 2.0 kids are reading. So it's awesome.

But back to the tags.

In the middle of the cloud tag was one that caught my eye. It didn't catch my eye because I thought, "Oh - this looks like a nice little link to follow."

No.

It caught my eye because it hinted so well at the horrors which awaited me just beyond a click of the mouse...

That tag was, of course: I Am Inlove With My Cousin (the error of combining the words "in" and "love" were his - not mine - but one could not expect a boy whose loins burn for his own family to bother with minor details like that)

The idea behind this site is that it's supposed to allow you to express yourself freely and anonymously - without fear of the repercussions that might be brought about if, for example, your cousin knew what you were writing about her.

There's some text off to the side of the site. It's meant to sum everything up:

Join the new social network that's the Talk of the Internet! A place where you can truly be yourself and meet new people who understand you-- without revealing your real world identity. It's free, fun, liberating-- and meaningful.

Yeah. Whatever.

"[M]eet new people who understand you"

Like... other people who want to screw their cousins?

Each member of the site gets a space where he/she/it shares "stories", "experiences", and "dreams". In my mind, I can't help but automatically append the words "about screwing my cousin" to the end of each of those categories. Go back and read them again that way. It's funny. The "experiences" one doesn't make much sense, but that's OK. Two out of three. Good enough.

Anyway, if all this talk of forbidden love hasn't gotten you all pumped up and steamy, then be sure to read this boy's poorly written story about his secret cousinly desires (totally safe for work, but a bit embarrassing for the guy who wrote it).

He also posted a dream. It's really short and titled "The Cousin Who i Loved have a BoyFriend" - Here it is, reprinted in full:

I Dreamed of coming back to the place where my cousin live i love her... but she told me that she have a Boyfriend and their anniversary is Nov 54. how weird 54 lol i just wonder what its suppose to mean.. i felt like the world crushing down on me... and i woke up..

Yeah - "Nov 54" - that is weird! Let's focus on that detail of the dream. That detail is just sooooo weird... unlike WANTING TO SCREW YOUR COUSIN.

I'm pretty sure sites like this are the reason the internet was invented.

Xanga, look out.