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A Christmas Story Sort Of But Not Really

I'm dying.

The test results just came back. I have ebola. And anthrax.

At first I thought it was just ebola. That wasn't a big deal. I've got ebola beat:

It's the anthrax I'm worried about.

This is, like, the third or fourth time I've had anthrax, but I think this is it, you know? I mean, like, it.

Usually, I just wait for it to pass. It's kind of like a bad cold with a hint of having been hit in the face by a high speed Kevlar-reinforced concrete sea turtle. Not so bad.

But, paired with ebola, it's too much. More than I can handle. I threw up my liver yesterday and realized that this is probably the end. I'm getting along fine without the liver, but what happens when my kidneys dissolve? And my bladder?

So, I have a few things to say before I shed this mortal coil.

First, it looks like I'm almost definitely going to get the condo. My realtor and current landlawd, Ryan, drove me out to a storage facility a couple days ago where we spent an hour digging through paperwork to find some things of mine necessary for the financing process. It was great fun. Perfect if you're into being cold, sick, and bored. And, though the team of elite Microsoft-issued doctors watching over me night and day, using the latest nano medical laser cyber technology to stave off the diseases, believes that I'm going to kick the bucket anytime between now and 2099, I still feel that this near-owning of a condo was a success, and a success is what I needed. You don't know what it's like to have your morale taken down a notch by the knowledge that Death is ringing the doorbell of your not-quite-purchased condo, preparing to invite himself in to lead you down to Hades where you shall cross the river Styx (provided the proper burial rites have been performed) to land on the other side - to land in Eternity. You just don't know. And don't even try. You can't know my suffering. You simply aren't deep enough to comprehend the tragedy that is my life.

Second, I wanted to wish all of you a happy whatever holiday it is that you celebrate around this time of year. There's, like, five or a thousand or something different religions, and I know you all celebrate different things. Whether you pray to a god that looks like Santa Claus or a giant glowing hyper-intelligent space-squid, I wish you the best. If you believe there's a giant mollusk in the sky that's listening to your prayers, it's not my place to say otherwise. I applaud you and your courage to believe in the space squid, no matter how messed up I think your are or how much you disgust me. Bravo.

Finally, I wanted to thank Carl. Because of my unfortunate state of health, I haven't been able to travel outside the Seattle area to visit friends and family this holiday season. Rather than sit around in my room, contemplating my coming demise, I've decided to be active in these, the last few days of my time on this planet. This choice to be active brought me into the office this weekend. I'm actually in here now - yes - at the office on the eve of both Christmas and my life. I had to come in anyway to get a form I need so that I can request another form I need that will ultimately prove to my lender that I have a job and that I'll pay back whatever money he gives me for the condo. Not that it matters since I'll be dead soon. I just like to finish what I start.

While here, I couldn't help but notice that Carl sent me presents in about twenty cubic feet of packaging. I am now the proud owner of an ultraviolet ray emitting, bacteria murdering toothbrush holder (would that I could have found this gift before falling prey to the duet of maladies which assault me now). I also have a book. And another book. And a tea strainer. And a 500GB external hard drive. And other stuff. Even a bag in which to carry it all home.

It's all very kind, and I appreciate it. Even though the physical stress of carrying all these presents home will surely be the final nail in my coffin, I know that Carl meant well when he sent me this abundance of goodly booty.

It's especially kind considering that Carl has never done anything but help me. Putting me on .NET Rocks. Getting me speaking gigs. Hooking me up with a contract. Flying me around the country for various reasons. Putting up the money and sweat to get my podcast going.

All unbelievably kind.

But now, I am tired. I'm loaded on cold medicine, ready to pass out. Hoping I'll wake up well enough that I can travel down to be with the family on Christmas day tomorrow, but I'm doubtful.

It seems I might pass Christmas with naught but the company of an ultraviolet ray emitting, bacteria murdering toothbrush holder.

Would that I could have found this gift before falling prey to the duet of maladies which assault me now...

Published Sunday, December 24, 2006 6:24 PM by Rory

Filed Under:

Comments

 

barfoobarbar said:

Reading your posts is like getting a route canal treatment.
December 24, 2006 7:12 PM
 

Rory said:

"Reading your posts is like getting a route canal treatment."

You're still reading, though Chris :)

(For the rest of you, that'd be Beer28.)
December 24, 2006 7:57 PM
 

barfoobarbar said:

?
December 24, 2006 9:31 PM
 

Rory said:

You've also posted as "buttersnoname". You're not terribly good at hiding this stuff.

Also, it's a "root" canal. A "route" is a series of locations/roads/whatever from one point to another.


December 24, 2006 9:52 PM
 

George V said:

Rory,

Merry Christmas to you too!!
It is 2:30am Christmas day, just finnished helping Santa wrap up the kids presents and having a huge argument with the wife about the Spirit of Christmas and why she didn't get the diamond ring this year either. (enough cause for possible 2007 divorce court)

So don't feel too bad these holidays, some others may have it a little worse. Suggestion, drive down and surprise your family while there get some eggnog with Jack Daniels it 'll put you in the Spirit of Christmas whether you like it or not and will get rid of some of your maladies at the same time.

Feliz Navidad y muy Prospero Año Nuevo 2007!!
December 24, 2006 11:49 PM
 

barfoobarbar said:

You got the spelling mistake right, though alot of people make spelling mistakes when typing comments on blogs. Other than that, you may just be paraniod.
December 25, 2006 5:36 AM
 

barfoobarbar said:

~ s/io/oi/;
December 25, 2006 5:38 AM
 

anon said:

wtf
December 25, 2006 8:38 AM
 

Ian said:

I suspect its an emacs command to correct his [sic]paraniod mistake.
it's not a vi one (although its close) and I think emacs is similiar in its command structure..

December 25, 2006 9:52 AM
 

punky said:

I think it's an attempt to become "route" on the Neopoleon server.
December 25, 2006 11:02 AM
 

barfoobarbar said:

"it's not a vi one (although its close) and I think emacs is similiar in its command structure.. "

How can you even USE vi and think that's an emacs macro?
Linux comes standard with Perl. And that perl command is a clone of sed(which you would have instantly known).

I am 1000% certain that you do not in fact use vi, or that if you do, it's some windows emulated one, because you sure don't know unix. I bet you also think vi is vim.
December 25, 2006 11:12 AM
 

Rory said:

Chris -

"You got the spelling mistake right, though alot of people make spelling mistakes when typing comments on blogs. Other than that, you may just be paraniod."

*I'm* paranoid?

You're the one who never reveals his identity to the world. Other than Chris M., most people don't know much. They don't know that you live in Canada, nor do they know that, even when threatening lawsuits, you still don't divulge your last name.

*That*, Chris, is paranoid.

"barfoobarbar said:
~ s/io/oi/;"

And this, my friend, is very similar to what you left in the comments section - twice - before I decided to ban one of your other IPs.

You give yourself away with this stuff, and it doesn't even work.

Then, there's the following "I know Unix and you dont LOLOL!!!!111" vitriole:

"How can you even USE vi and think that's an emacs macro?
Linux comes standard with Perl. And that perl command is a clone of sed(which you would have instantly known).

I am 1000% certain that you do not in fact use vi, or that if you do, it's some windows emulated one, because you sure don't know unix. I bet you also think vi is vim."

I'm not *asking* you if you're Chris/Beer28. I'm *telling* you.

You must keep your "lawer" up late at night, giggling.

Anyway, merry Christmas, and thanks for trying to hax0r my server ;)
December 25, 2006 12:16 PM
 

barfoobarbar said:

Think whatever you want. I may have posted here before but that hardly makes me Beer28.

"Anyway, merry Christmas, and thanks for trying to hax0r my server ;)"

Had anybody with half a brain tried to hack this shared windows server you wouldn't be reading this message right now.
December 25, 2006 12:34 PM
 

Dave said:

Happy Christmas from the non-fruitcake element of your audience. But next Christmas don't start your article with "I'm dying". Pretty please?

Oh what the hell, make it a year on year recurring theme.
December 25, 2006 1:05 PM
 

RidiculousX said:

How else will you develop a tolerance or resistance to disease if you don't let the disease infect you in some way (whether it be getting a terminal disease or just having them germs course through your veins)? If someone was to grow up in a sterile environment, you'd be dead the moment you stepped outside and were exposed to a thousand strains of the cold virus. But, at least you get to keep the immunities that your parents developed.

Anthrax... Uhhh, yeah, things aren't looking too bright...
December 25, 2006 1:40 PM
 

Blue said:

Merry Christmas, Rory. :)
December 25, 2006 2:24 PM
 

Rory said:

Chris -

"Think whatever you want. I may have posted here before but that hardly makes me Beer28."

You're right. Having posted here before is not a proper means by which to determine that you are Beer28. I, for example, have posted here before, and *I'm* not Beer28. Your logic, unlike your spelling, is flawless.

However, you're Beer28. And, on this Christmas day, I'm sitting here with my sister who has been wrapping presents. She's aware of you and your rather irritating online presence, and she wanted me to deliver a holiday message.

She says, "Up yours!"

(She requested that I put in the exclamation point - I normally wouldn't use them, but, hey - it's her quote, you know?)

Anyway, I think she's right, and that her sentiments are probably those of 99% of the rest of the readers of my site, and I think I can speak for everyone when I ask that, if you don't like what you read here, that you simply go away and, I don't know, die or something.

Merry Christmas, and up yours!

Sincerely,

The Blyth Family
December 25, 2006 4:05 PM
 

Rory said:

To the non-crazy portion of my readers -

Thanks for not being crazy.

And happy whatever-you-celebrate.

Sincerely,

The Blyth Family
December 25, 2006 4:06 PM
 

Rory said:

Blue -

Thanks.

And, so you know, I'm wearing Ciel today. I packed Arcus for tomorrow.

I'll be wearing Amouage throughout the holiday.

Thought you might like to know :)
December 25, 2006 4:07 PM
 

Ms. Nic said:

Merry Christmas and congratulations on your condo aquisition.

Ms. Nic
(mostly avid reader)
December 25, 2006 5:51 PM
 

barfoobarbar said:

You seem pretty paranoid about Beer28. At any rate, I probably shouldn't be reading this drivel.
December 25, 2006 7:00 PM
 

GuyIncognito said:

I got a t-shirt from my mom that says "What Would Yoda Do?" and the book "The God Delusion".  And I stuffed my face with gingerbread cookies.  And chased giggling little wee ones around the tree until they passed out.
December 25, 2006 7:32 PM
 

Blue said:

Rory,

You're right, nice to know. :)

I've been wearing Ciel myself throughout the holiday. If you'd like to wish me something great for 2007, may I suggest a suitable wearer of Arcus as a boyfriend? ;)
December 25, 2006 9:00 PM
 

Rory said:

Chris -

"At any rate, I probably shouldn't be reading this drivel."

I was thinking the same thing - please feel free not to read or comment here any further. That would be quite the Christmas gift.

Thanks.
December 25, 2006 11:44 PM
 

Rory said:

Ms. Nic -

"Merry Christmas and congratulations on your condo aquisition."

Thank you, thank you :)

And, to be clear, the condo has not yet been acquired - I first have to convince someone to lend me a bunch of money. I've never asked anyone to lend me this much money before, so I have a little anxiety about how it's going to go. It seems I can afford it, but, to me, it seems like, you know, a *lot*. Like I shouldn't really be able to afford it. And that has me freaked out, which has me rambling on here as though you were my shrink or something and that it's appropriate for me to dump all my concerns out in a public place and...

Probably best to stop there.

Anyway, hopefully I'll get to see you when you come up to Seattle. My anthrax is certainly getting better, and I don't think it will get in the way of any meeting.
December 25, 2006 11:48 PM
 

Rory said:

Blue -

"I've been wearing Ciel myself throughout the holiday. If you'd like to wish me something great for 2007, may I suggest a suitable wearer of Arcus as a boyfriend? ;)"

Are you being forward, or am I just being really conceited in thinking that you're being forward?
December 25, 2006 11:50 PM
 

Blue said:

Oops, sorry Rory. I think your immune system is far too strong for mine. I don't think I could handle anthrax, Ebola, a cold and the E. Coli that's lurking in a corner of your once broken bathroom with a big grin, all at the same time. Nothing personal, eh! It's probably because I had nobody to sprinkle my Cap'n Crunch with kryptonite when I was a child. ;)



December 26, 2006 2:00 AM
 

Rob said:

This Beer28 guy is most of the reason I don't recommend hiring *nix-heads any longer, to anyone.

His behavior costs others work opportunities.

Merry Happy Holiday to you! At least you didn't have a cold at Christmas combined with the screaming antics of a four year old boy who wants to be the baby again. No, that was *my* Christmas!

Note: I've imprisoned the four year old boy in a boring room with only old toys to play with until lunchtime, with supervised bathroom breaks. I also swept his Santa Gift from the kitchen counter, where he was busy playing fireman, and we both got to watch it shatter into about 800 pieces.

It was transcendentally satisfying, because I've always wanted to do that to a Lego set. Then I made him pick it all up and put it into a box. Then he had to apologize to his mother. Then he went to bedroom-prison for the morning.

So I have to ask you, which is better? Ebola + Anthrax+Christmas?, or a raging case of sinusitis + a whining four year old who talks smack to his own mother + Christmas?

Hope you're feeling better soon.
December 26, 2006 11:00 AM
 

paul said:

Only Rory could have an exorcism on Christmas….

If your not dead yet then the anthrax wasn't really a problem.

Sorry about the ebola, can we find a video of your face melting off on YouTube?  
December 26, 2006 11:04 AM
 

JoeG said:


barbarfoobarfoofoobarfoodickheadbarfoofoobarfoo,

"Reading your posts is like getting a route canal treatment."
"At any rate, I probably shouldn't be reading this drivel. "

Then please, by all means...STOP READING...STOP POSTING...GO THE HELL AWAY.

And Rory, hope you had a good holiday and you're not dead.
December 26, 2006 3:03 PM
 

Rory said:

Blue -


Oops, sorry Rory. I think your immune system is far too strong for mine. I don't think I could handle anthrax, Ebola, a cold and the E. Coli that's lurking in a corner of your once broken bathroom with a big grin, all at the same time. Nothing personal, eh! It's probably because I had nobody to sprinkle my Cap'n Crunch with kryptonite when I was a child. ;)"

I've been rejected on account of insufficient immunity to disease.

This is, indeed, a new low to the dating machine that...

...*was* Rory Blyth.

I will, however, forgive you for my conceit :)
December 26, 2006 5:00 PM
 

Rory said:

Rob -

"So I have to ask you, which is better? Ebola + Anthrax+Christmas?, or a raging case of sinusitis + a whining four year old who talks smack to his own mother + Christmas?"

You win.

The ebola at least gave me a chance to relax. It's hard to move about when you sneeze up your liquified lung.
December 26, 2006 5:03 PM
 

Rory said:

JoeG -

"Then please, by all means...STOP READING...STOP POSTING...GO THE HELL AWAY."

Thank you for stating so eloquently that for which I couldn't find words :)

"And Rory, hope you had a good holiday and you're not dead."

Not dead. Just dealing with the insanity of trying to get the one bad mark of credit on my credit report removed, and in doing so I've had to deal with the collection agency that hit me for my school loan four years ago.

Back then, they threatened to take my mother's house (she co-signed on the loan). I didn't even know I had defaulted, as I had been paying the loan for two years before they even called. All very strange.

Now they won't even take my phone call. I was hung up on seven times today until I was finally told, more or less, to go away.

I think that's a good thing. If they aren't willing to acknowledge that I ever had a debt with them, it shouldn't be hard to get my credit corrected (which they said they would do after the bill was paid, and they clearly didn't hold up their end of the deal).

Yeah. I feel like gutting everyone at that company, but I think I'll just relax and consider this a win.

Hope you're doing well, too, yo. I know you've been through a lot over the past couple years - things certainly every bit as frustrating as a company that doesn't care about you trying to prevent you from buying a condo - and you deserve to have a good holiday.

So.

Word.
December 26, 2006 5:07 PM
 

Blue said:

I'm glad you do. :)
Nevertheless, I reckon that you are a pretty good catch. ;)
December 27, 2006 5:04 AM
 

barfoobarbar said:

"I don't recommend hiring *nix-heads any longer, to anyone.
His behavior costs others work opportunities. "

If you're too lame to get work, blame it on yourself or your operating system.

Beer28 had shared this link with mer recently.
http://www.itac.ca/PolicyandAdvocacy/Outsourcing.html

The corporations run and operated by people like Rory have much to do with your "work opportunity costs", and not what Beer28 does in the least. I hear Beer28 does pretty well for somebody who's behavior is in question here. That being said, he has a minimal footprint on the grand scheme of things compared to Rory and friends. If you are looking for ethical wavering causing harm to the western world, maybe you should look elsewhere. Perhaps on your desktop.

It had to be said.
December 27, 2006 8:25 AM
 

Rory said:

Blue -

(After dusting myself off, chin high in the air...)

"Nevertheless, I reckon that you are a pretty good catch. ;)"

As a matter of fact, I am.

Sort of.

Long story.

Or stories.

But, yeah. Basically, I am.

Kind of... :)
December 27, 2006 12:59 PM
 

Rory said:

Chris -

"The corporations run and operated by people like Rory have much to do with your "work opportunity costs""

Interesting.

The corporation for which I work employees some 60,000 people. We get fantastic benefits, good vacation time, and are generally treated very well to do jobs we want to do.

On the side, many billions of dollars have been dedicated to charity as a result of the money made. Gates and his family have done more for the developing world than... well, insert [country] here.

If you're only in it for yourself, for your own selfish desires, then I can see how your situation might be a good one.

"I hear Beer28 does pretty well for somebody who's behavior is in question here."

You "hear" that, eh? :)

Also, it's "whose" and not "who's" - "Who's" is a contraction of "who" and "is". I'm sure you can figure out the rest.

Maybe.
December 27, 2006 1:04 PM
 

barfoobarbar said:

Microsoft has exported many jobs where pay and benefits are greatly reduced, and they have done so solely for that reason. They are one of the worst corporate offenders in the genre. I could cite reports, but they would be ignored anyway.

"On the side, many billions of dollars have been dedicated to charity as a result of the money made. Gates and his family have done more for the developing world than... well, insert [country] here. "

Donating computers to libraries loaded with your own brand of software to force eventual pay upgrades as full tax write offs, hardly makes me shed a tear.

http://news.zdnet.co.uk/hardware/0,1000000091,39257713,00.htm

If Bill were such a humanitarian, he would not have made those statements. He would not care what OS the laptop was running as long as it would provide the necessary service to those in need.
The fact is he most likely does not care, and will even go as far as to try to hinder efforts if it does not mean future user lock ins or tax write offs for his stock.

The whole Bill Gates humanitarian effort is a thinly veiled angle at business rather than a true sincere effort at working on the problem of world poverty or education.
December 27, 2006 2:45 PM
 

bar said:

What about all the companies and people he stepped on to make those disingenuous contributions over the years? Now?

Rolling jobs over to X nation to cut dental, salaries and some benefits should qualify the MSFT board as being some type of globalization heros?
I've seen the way people will push up an employer simply for writing them a check every couple weeks, so I am not at all surprised.

That being said, Bill will never be half the person somebody like Richard Stallman is.
December 27, 2006 2:58 PM
 

Rory said:

Chris -

"Microsoft has exported many jobs where pay and benefits are greatly reduced, and they have done so solely for that reason. They are one of the worst corporate offenders in the genre. I could cite reports, but they would be ignored anyway."

First off, you're a Canadian. You haven't lost any jobs. And, given that you clearly have no desire to work for Microsoft, I don't see what the problem is.

And, as for the reasons for offshoring - you're absolutely right. For certain positions, it's much cheaper to send the work away. But that's nothing new - go pool your belongings and check to see where they were made. It should come as little surprise that most consumer goods are manufactured in SE Asia.

So, why are you upset about sending a few tech jobs offshore when corporations have been doing this in other industries for decades upon decades?

"Donating computers to libraries loaded with your own brand of software to force eventual pay upgrades as full tax write offs, hardly makes me shed a tear."

Dude. You're a moron. I mean, that's obvious, but aside from donating computers (which Apple has been doing for years, subjecting their charities to the exact same upgrade costs), the Gates Foundation has done a lot of work on eradicating certain common diseases in developing countries.

Here's just one article among many discussing money donated by Gates to do away with Polio:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/02/050201072858.htm

Just *one* article. Out of hundreds, if not thousands. I haven't bothered to check because it would be difficult to track down how much charity has been done. The Gates Foundation, when I last looked, was giving out roughly two million dollars per day to charities.

What are *you* giving to charity?

"The whole Bill Gates humanitarian effort is a thinly veiled angle at business rather than a true sincere effort at working on the problem of world poverty or education."

Your inability to concede that Gates has done good for the world is disturbing. Somehow, for you, and people like you, it's more important that Linux shows up on a desktop than some child is saved from a crippling disease.

Think about those priorities of yours and how incredibly fucked up they are.

And don't bother making the tax shelter argument. Only a complete idiot would think that Gates would have given away thirty *billion* dollars just to save a bit on April 15th. He has given away the majority of what he's earned, and his plan is to have given it *all* away by the time he dies. Trusts have been set up for his family that are miniscule compared to what he's giving away. Yes, his family will still be extremely rich, but they're only getting a fraction of what Microsoft has brought in.

Seriously. The problem with zealots like you is that you lose the ability to see the other side's position. You can't make any kind of a reasoned judgment because you've shut yourself off. You create fantastical reasons to explain something very simple, and you prioritize some silly technical choice over the well being of people who have just as much a right to a good life as you do, but who do not have the means to that good life.

What's more important? An operating system or someone's life?

What's more likely? That Bill, as he's made very clear to anyone who would like to know (http://www.gatesfoundation.org), has given away his fortune to charity, or that he's given away *billions* and *billions* of dollars just to reduce his tax liability?

Even you ought to be able to figure this out, provided you can free yourself of the conspiracy theory mentality that drives your thoughts.
December 27, 2006 3:13 PM
 

Evelyne said:

I just found a common mistake above: "alot " should be two words: a  lot .  Happy Snappy New Year!
December 27, 2006 5:13 PM
 

Rory said:

"I just found a common mistake above: "alot " should be two words: a  lot .  Happy Snappy New Year!"

Dude. Mom. I'm kicking this guy's ass just fine on my own...
December 27, 2006 5:41 PM
 

Bryan said:

Here in Louisville, we have a phrase that is perfect for Chris/beer28/nub, and it is:  Lick It.
December 27, 2006 11:18 PM
 

Blue said:

Hope that stupid trolls like that Chris/Beer28/whatever don't give Canadians (I am Canadian) a bad name here! ;)

Anyway, don't waste too much energy on him, Rory, it's not worth it. I am divorcing someone of similar bad faith and know how wearing out people like him are.
December 28, 2006 12:26 AM
 

bar said:

"What are *you* giving to charity? "

I read that Beer28 gave lots of GPL source code. I also read that there's a lot more coming, and that company is creating a new operating system and windowing namespace based glitz and vector graphics.

"What's more important? An operating system or someone's life?"

Freedom is more important. Why did so many people die in WWII?
Why not just capitulate to Hitler(another monopolistic tyrant) who probably had a person just as dedicated to counting HIS swear words at meetings?
(as if that's not completely insane)

I think somebody once uttered, give me liberty or give me death. What about Red Hat based OLPC and computers and technology that represent freedom instead of hand outs?

Some people, I'd dare say most, would think that is more important.
December 28, 2006 5:42 AM
 

JoeG said:

bar,

By comparing Bill Gates to Hitler you have truly shown the extent of your rampant paranoia. Adolph Hitler was responsible for the deaths of six million innocent human beings. Got it? See the distinction yet??

Your ramblings up to this point have been a mere annoyance to regular readers of this blog...now you've launched your idiocy to a newly offensive level. Go peddle your sickness elsewhere.
December 28, 2006 10:38 AM
 

Rory said:

Chris -

"I read that Beer28 gave lots of GPL source code. I also read that there's a lot more coming, and that company is creating a new operating system and windowing namespace based glitz and vector graphics."

PERFECT!

I have a picture in my head of an African kid who's in a Polio epidemic area, looking at all the tremendous amounts of GPL'd source code you've given back to the world, and wondering how he's supposed to eat it or inject it to his system so that he doesn't get the crippling disease.

Pat yourself on the back for a job well done. The rest of the developing world will sleep much more soundly tonight knowing that a few lines of code have been put back into a repository somehwere.

"Freedom is more important.

That wasn't my question. My question was: "What's more important? An operating system or someone's life?"

Feel free to answer that question directly (if you're willing - you know as well as I do what the proper answer is).

"Why did so many people die in WWII?"

Well, many reasons. Not just one. I hope I don't have to go down the list.

Let's see. There was...

1. Frostbite
2. Starvation
3. Faulty machinery
4. A display of power so disgusting that it ended both Japan's involvement in the war as well as many, many, many lives
5. Probably a few field rations gone bad

Am I close?

"Why not just capitulate to Hitler(another monopolistic tyrant)"

Um. Because Hitler was, according to my system of morals, quite in the wrong. That's why. And not just wrong, but responsible for the deaths of many innocent people (although the US is just as guilty with the two atomic bomb events - maybe not in number of deaths, but at least in blatant disregard for civilian life).

And all sorts of other reasons.

"...who probably had a person just as dedicated to counting HIS swear words at meetings?"

I see no evidence, nor do I see the relevance.

"I think somebody once uttered, give me liberty or give me death."

But you were too lazy to visit Wikipedia to find out *who* and in *what* context.

"What about Red Hat based OLPC and computers and technology that represent freedom instead of hand outs?"

Because hand outs in the form of Polio vaccines and such (there's a lot more to read about - just follow the link I provided) do a hell of a lot more good for the world than the few lines of code you've left in some repository that's meant to create a Linux distro that'll keep you from having to deal with GP3 v3, thereby creating a niche business for yourself.

Do you see the difference?

The Polio vaccines save lives and improve the quality of life for those who otherwise would have been crippled (and, again, Polio vaccines are only one example of the good the Gates Foundation has done).

Your code is self-serving. You make it look as though you're doing some great thing, but the reality is that you want to be able to carve out a particular niche for yourself with a distro unaffected by the GPL v3 while other distros get caught up in it. Hardly selfless. Hardly even useful, except to you and a handful of people who want to profit from it.

"Some people, I'd dare say most, would think that is more important."

So... in a poll, you think that, for example, most Americans would indicate that they believe it's more important to create a Linux distro that's untouched by GPL v3 rather than send Polio vaccines to Africa?

Reality check time.

And, please answer the question directly. No more inane invocations of Hitler or whatever other silly ideas spring to your conspiracy theory polluted mind.

This is almost becoming comical again.

At least it would if you weren't so irritating and spreading your selfish message in exactly the wrong place.
December 28, 2006 12:52 PM
 

bar said:

Please stop referring to me as Chris, if you have something you want to discuss with him please contact him.

"I see no evidence, nor do I see the relevance. "

It is well documented that Bill has had employees dedicated to capricious acts such as counting how many times he swore in a conversation or meeting. This is not unlike what Hitler and other maniacal dictators would do.(assign such people to do meaningless tasks to raise their esteem).

"But you were too lazy to visit Wikipedia to find out *who* and in *what* context. "

I don't need to.

"Because hand outs in the form of Polio vaccines and such (there's a lot more to read about - just follow the link I provided) do a hell of a lot more good for the world than the few lines of code you've left in some repository that's meant to create a Linux distro that'll keep you from having to deal with GP3 v3, thereby creating a niche business for yourself. "

That's still a write off, and that's overshadowed with the investment type donations which are gifts to receive income later, such as library donations, ect...

Imagine if those people could use Linux and free software instead to build their economies where they would not need such help. Why can't a person in Africa use a RH laptop with a crank and use it to lift themselves from their situation. All the software is free. Donating medicine for tax relief is fine, I never said otherwise. governments also do a lot of that, as a matter of fact they do most of it, not the private sector.

"So... in a poll, you think that, for example, most Americans would indicate that they believe it's more important to create a Linux distro that's untouched by GPL v3 rather than send Polio vaccines to Africa?"

I can't figure out what your problem with GPL v3 is, from what I've read of Beer28's thoughts on it, he seems to have no problem with it. Red Hat seems to embrace it as well. Maybe you should get some facts about it before you start criticizing it.

http://gplv3.fsf.org/pipermail/info-gplv3/2006-September/000011.html

Kings and bourgeois, or even knights if you will, can think themselves generous and gracious, but in the end they're mostly not such, and ultimately they all face their own Bastille day.

http://www.businessweek.com/globalbiz/content/sep2006/gb20060921_463452.htm

"12-year-old Arya VM as she plays with Tux Paint, a Linux drawing and painting application. And Windows? ``Never heard of it,'' she says."

She will never need to pay for software again, and can use it to better her life. Perhaps she is not as poor as those dying of starvation and disease, but her life will improve none the less.

I am sick of your twisting my words, bye.

December 28, 2006 4:57 PM
 

Rory said:

Chris -

"Please stop referring to me as Chris, if you have something you want to discuss with him please contact him."

Sure, Chris.

No problem.

""I see no evidence, nor do I see the relevance. "

It is well documented that Bill has had employees dedicated to capricious acts such as counting how many times he swore in a conversation or meeting. This is not unlike what Hitler and other maniacal dictators would do.(assign such people to do meaningless tasks to raise their esteem)."

I still don't see what your point is.

I assume you're trying to somehow link Gates to Hitler through some activity of trivial importance and relevance.

You said earlier that your having posted here before was not proof in any way that you were Chris.

I suppose I could take the *extremely* easy way out of this and point out that a superficial similarity between Gates and Hitler in no way puts them in the same class or on the same moral plane.

We might as well choose any quality by which to associate two people.

You, I assume, have a face. Given your anger and desire to lash out at people, attacking them for no reason (such as your very first comment in this post), you may very well be hideously unpleasant to the human eye, were subjected to all sorts of mockery from your peers as you grew up, and now have a bone to pick, but that's just an assumption. However, given how comfortable you are with making grandiose assumptions, I'll allow myself this one.

Point being, you have a face, hideous though it may be.

Hitler had a face, too.

You, then, are like Hitler.

And, if you're right about Gates being like Hitler, then it follows you're also like Gates.

You are, my modern Quasimodo, similar to two people whom you appear to regard as being ciminal, unworthy of your respect, and so on.

You are everything you hate.

That is, *if* you want to play this stupid game of yours. Otherwise, you can just stop and admit that there is absolutely no similarity between Gates and Hitler except in the most superficial and meaningless ways such as those expressed by you.

""But you were too lazy to visit Wikipedia to find out *who* and in *what* context. "

I don't need to."

I would argue that you *do* need to.

Unless this disregard for fact is a mode of life for you.

I've noticed that you're very quick to accuse, but never there to provide any kind of evidence when called upon to do so other than your own personal opinion, which is clearly biased and worthless in this discussion.

""Because hand outs in the form of Polio vaccines and such (there's a lot more to read about - just follow the link I provided) do a hell of a lot more good for the world than the few lines of code you've left in some repository that's meant to create a Linux distro that'll keep you from having to deal with GP3 v3, thereby creating a niche business for yourself. "

That's still a write off, and that's overshadowed with the investment type donations which are gifts to receive income later, such as library donations, ect..."

Again, you could do with some simple lessons in finances.

Perhaps you've never made the kind of money which requires that one pay taxes to a governmental entity, but, in my case for example, I spend a little time each year seeking out ways to lower my overall tax liability.

I do not, however, allocate the vast majority of my earnings to tax shelters so that I'll be able to chip away just that much more at what I owe.

You simply don't understand how it works.

Gates parted with roughly thirty *billion*. This is a number which no human can even conceptualize. We can all understand that it's a big number, but, beyond that, it might as well be infinity. Our minds, with their short term memories allowing for 7 +/- 2 items to be held at a time, come nowhere near being able to even begin to understand just how large a billion is.

And Gates gave away *thirty* billion dollars.

Let's just grossly oversimplify for a moment and pretend that Gates somehow got to keep this money, and that he had to pay various taxes on it. The worst that someone like Gates would have to pay might be around 30%. Most people who make ridiculous amounts of money actually pay quite a bit less because they find highly efficient tax shelters with which to reduce their tax liabilities to something approaching 0%. I actually know a few people who do this (and, no - none of them work for Microsoft - none are even involved with software).

So, Gates has given away pretty much everything. Thirty billion dollars. Of that, he keeps none.

If he had chosen to keep it (again, using the highly simplified and speculative argument made above), he might have had to give away about ten billion of that.

Gates, then, could have kept about twenty billion in this simple look.

Instead, he kept *zero*.

The Gates Foundation is *not* a tax shelter for the Gates family. The money does *not* come back to Gates. When it's gone, it's gone.

And, I don't see how paying for vaccines to be delivered and administered by paid staff in developing nations is going to result in any kind of a return for Gates, except perhaps one of knowing that he had the choice to be greedy, to hoard his billions, but, instead, gave it away.

You can mention the libararies and the computers. That's fine. Frankly, I think it's better than nothing. And if the libraries choose to accept the charity, then they choose to accept the charity. Clearly, the people making the decisions know more than you do about the situation.

However, the primary goals of the Gates Foundation (you *did* go to the site, didn't you?) are centered around helping people in developing nations get access to health care and education they otherwise wouldn't have, and *that* is much more important than what operating system is running your computer inside your cushy Canadian home.

"Imagine if those people could use Linux and free software instead to build their economies where they would not need such help."

Forgive me, as I'm losing my patience here, but you are incredibly fucking retarded.

I'm going to be blatantly honest here - I'm really smart. Like, really, *really* smart. Sometimes I forget that there are people like you walking around, so tied to their unresearched convictions, that I think a few words explaining a situation will help to correct a misunderstanding, but that clearly isn't the case here.

So, let me walk you and your very average throught process through this problem.

First off, you're right. For a developing nation to develop and eventually prosper in a global econonomy, the people of that nation will need the tools with which to play the game. The tools, nowadays, are basically computers and wires. Wires that deliver information, and computers which display it. That's a simple explanation, and I hope you don't mind. I'm just trying to keep this at a level you'll be able to understand.

However, in the meantime, what are they supposed to do? If you're a mother who's just given birth to a baby which doesn't have access to proper medical care, what do you think is more important?

If you and I walked into a room, each of us offering what our side is offering, which offer do you think she'd accept?

I'd offer, on behalf of my employer, vaccines and medications to ensure that the baby survives (you should really check world infant mortality rates for developing nations - the numbers alone, without a bit of editorializing, are horrifying).

You'd offer, on behalf of you and your philosophies, a laptop with Linux on it.

Which is going to save the baby's life? Which is going to ensure the baby will even be around to acquire the skills later in life to become a productive member of society?

Your solution is selfish and leaves me disgusted. Again and again, you've prioritized your preference for an operating system over the survival of a child whose parents are too poor to be able to afford the healthcare required to provide the baby with a normal, healthy life.

Seriously. You're a sick fuck.

"I can't figure out what your problem with GPL v3 is, from what I've read of Beer28's thoughts on it, he seems to have no problem with it. Red Hat seems to embrace it as well. Maybe you should get some facts about it before you start criticizing it."

As you know, Chris, you're currently developing a Linux distribution for several reasons. One reason is that you don't want any bit of Microsoft's technology to be delivered with your distro (that is, you want to cut out Mono which, by the way, is *not* Microsoft's technology). The other main reason is to avoid the GPL v3. Or at least that's what you've said in the past.

I wouldn't be surprised if you changed your word, though. You're one of the most unscrupulous people I've ever encountered online.

"Maybe you should get some facts about it before you start criticizing it."

You're the one who doesn't want to do any research. I clearly know much more about "your side" than you do about mine.

You don't have a clue as to how the Gates Foundation is run or where the vast majority of the money is going. I provided you with a link so that you could see for yourself, but you either didn't go, or used that tumoral lump of crap in your head you call a brain  and landed on yet another conspiracy theory.

Also, in response to my comment that you were too lazy to even go to wikipedia to do the research on who uttered a particularly famous quote, your only response was "I don't need to."

See, something I like about arguing with riff-raff such as yourself is that you make up the rules as you go along, and I eventually get to benefit from those rules.

I should mention now as well that every dirty trick so far in this argument has been initiated by you - beginning with your very first, and utterly poinitless comment (as well as your attempt to make it appear that other people agreed with you by leaving the "wtf?" comment under another anonymous entry - all very sleazy stuff, and you ought to be ashamed of yourself - if this is what the OSS world is, then I find it repulsive, and you a terrible ambassador).

"Kings and bourgeois, or even knights if you will, can think themselves generous and gracious, but in the end they're mostly not such, and ultimately they all face their own Bastille day."

Bastille day?

Le 14 jouillet is another terribly weak analogy.

I'm assuming you're alluding to Gates as the king, and all your poor little OSS buddies being those freed, but it just doesn't work.

Gates is not a king, nor has he imprisoned anyone.

Even in your historical references, you're a complete idiot.

"12-year-old Arya VM as she plays with Tux Paint, a Linux drawing and painting application. And Windows? ``Never heard of it,'' she says."

She will never need to pay for software again, and can use it to better her life. Perhaps she is not as poor as those dying of starvation and disease, but her life will improve none the less."

Um. She might not need to pay for *some* software, but you're incredibly naive if you think OSS is the end of commercial software.

I'm not going to go into it here since you probably wouldn't read what I have to say anyway, but the infrastructures currently in place to support OSS products are shoddy bits of scaffolding that help a project just far enough along for it to be abandoned as an alpha release (if the team is so lucky).

The other projects will receive major funding from companies that are every bit as competitive as Microsoft. Look at Firefox for example. Or the work gone into KHTML by Apple.

The smaller projects will continue to be produced (and be more or less unuseable as there is no budget to test the software, and it's all been designed by coders who've never seen the light of day, let alone spoken with another humgn), but corporations will either buy outright, or purchase interest in, the major open source projects out there.

In a matter of years - and you should bookmark this page and comment so that you can come back and realize what an idiot you are - most of the greatest OSS products will have strong commercial affiliations at the very least, and belong to the corporations at the most.

This is because *everybody* has a price, and it's only naive people like yourself who don't understand how things work in the real world who could possibly believe that the world of OSS is going to continue along and progress at a rate consistent with commercially developed apps, but without commercial investment.

You whined earlier that MS has shipped some jobs off shore.

That's nothing compared to the number of devs who slave away for *nothing* to create applications that are taken over by corporations with no intent whatsoever of sharing in any profits derived of a work.

Meanwhile, those coding slaves are working day jobs. Doing what? Working for the man, of course! They're working to help the people they oppose.

And, if you think this can be stopped, just ask yourself how likely it is that, when push comes to shove, you and your little software hippies are going to be able to battle the armies of lawyers that'll come bearing down on you in the legal battles which will determine ownership and right to profit.

Who's going to pay for your defense? Yeah, I know there are a few small foundations set up, but trust me - they're *nothing* compared to what companies like Google will leverage against you.

Simply put, you're fucked *and* stupid.

"I am sick of your twisting my words, bye."

And I'm sick of the way I feel my IQ lowering each time I read anything you write.

If this is really your final farewell, then you have my sincere thanks. You're a pock on an otherwise splendid and wonderful site.

*pwn3d*

Have a nice day, Chris :)
December 28, 2006 7:18 PM
 

bar said:

I will comment as some of your comments are not on the level. I will also pretend these comments were directed towards me.

"Your solution is selfish and leaves me disgusted. "

I pay taxes and generally, global problems are not the job of the private sector.
Had Microsoft simply not used those tax shelters and paid their share( by fair share, I mean the same % income tax that most middle income families pay ), it could have done just as much good if not more than what Bill is doing now. Unless you don't trust the US govt.

"This is because *everybody* has a price, and it's only naive people like yourself who don't understand how things work in the real world who could possibly believe that the world of OSS is going to continue along and progress at a rate consistent with commercially developed apps, but without commercial investment. "

There's one thing you don't understand very well, and I know Bill has the same problem in this area, software doesn't have to be protected to be worth something.

You can have an enterprise OS release and have it be valuable with extra media, packaging, and support, and have the same product free with community support and STILL make money.

You don't need threats and genuine advantage. People still buy cds and use iTunes regardless of p2p.

GPL and FOSS software is NOT worthless, and you are certainly not barred from selling it or reselling it. Novell has done quite well and so has Red Hat. I can only guess that Beer28 also knows this.

When Bill wrote the open letter to the homebrew club, he assumed that because they were sharing or reselling microsoft basic, that it made his work on it unviable and un-useful. Was that true?
Did they put him out of business?

No, they didn't because you're working for him today.

http://www.computerworld.com/blogs/node/2803

Bill is willing to violate copyright and pirate content in his private life, but will turn around and cry foul when people are giving away the same rights to the public.

Is GPL software worthless moneywise?
Of course not.

It is people like those who work at Microsoft which wish to convey this perception to advance their own "We own the IP from A to motherfing Z" and let's scare everybody who shares code or builds on existing code to sell. They wouldn't even scan the Linux source to EVEN SEE if there was any infringement because they knew it would be too costly, EVEN for them to do so. And yet they tell people with a straight face that there "could" be IP infrigment, though they fail to mention that it is in the same sense that pigs "could" fly, and not in the sense that "we spent 10 billion to actually check" and are not talking out of our asses.

It's all about leveraging and scare tactics when it comes to the argument against Linux and open source. Smoke and mirrors is what micro$oft lives by.

When most people end up using open source code, and it becomes the norm, perhaps at that point will you realize my perspective. That free code is worth money, and that it's not free as in beer, but free as in Freedom.

That can help the world more than Bill's money ever can. Money can always help in the short term, but can never solve the long term problems that our world faces.
December 28, 2006 8:45 PM
 

Rory said:

Chris -

From this point on, given that you haven't responded to any of my questions, I'm just going to delete your comments.

This is adding nothing to the site, and you're wasting my time.

Once again, your lack of tact, knowledge, and intelligence has left you looking like a fucking moron.

I understand now why everybody on Channel 9 hates you so much. It's nothat you're pro-Linux - there are plenty of people on 9 who are.

It's that you're an asshole. Intolerable, uninformed, unwilling to back up ridiculous claims, and generally fucked in the head.

Now go back to that failing myspace rip-off of yours and preach to your (rather small) choir.

As a Microsoft employee, I'm happy to engage in discussions concerning the differences between the commercial and OSS worlds.

But not like this.

So far, you have:

 - Reintroduced yourself to my site by leaving a pointless and nasty comment (the first one for this post)

 - Posed as someone else when typing "wtf?" to make it appear as though people other than yourself were as confused as you were

 - Claimed, against mountains of evidence to the contrary, that the Gates Foundation is nothing but a tax shelter (did you visit the site even *once*?)

 - Tried some sort of extremely amateurish means of hax0ring my site (which you had done before - I still have the comment)

 - All but admitted that it's more important to you that a starving child be given a laptop he can't eat instead of a meal he can

In the end, what have you accomplished? Do you think you've convinced anybody here to switch to Linux? A large portion of my readership isn't even technical, and couldn't care less what OS they're using on their machines. Another large portion is pro-Windows *and* pro-Linux/OSS. They see that you don't have to hate one to like the other.

It's actually a general trait in low intelligence, uncreative people to see things in extremes. People like you have a hard time seeing the perfectly acceptable gray area. You're the ones who start the fights and make all the noise.

The rest of us are grown up and civil enough to understand that MS and OSS can coexist with little difficulty.

So, again, I ask: what have you accomplished?

From where I'm sitting, all you've done is piss off and/or creep out some of my regular readers. That's not the kind of thing that's going to win people over to your side.

Not too surprising, though, all these histrionics. Anybody with the audacity to call his distro "Deity Linux" is somone who needs to rethink his place and importance in the universe.

If your next response is just more ranting rather than a response to this one, you can consider it deleted.

I will also then take steps to contact your ISP about your little hax0ring attempts (both of them). Useless as they were, you clearly don't have any respect at all for someone else's domain.

I built this site so that I could create and foster discussion with interesting people - not to engage in childish pissing contests with zealots such as yourself.
December 28, 2006 10:46 PM
 

Robert said:

Am I the only one here who sees a similarity between Chris and Maximilien Robespierre?  Since you mentioned the Bastille, I can't help but wonder if you want to institute your own reign of terror upon those who wish to choose anything besides what you deem to be the right choice.  Everyone eagerly preaches tolerance as long as it's tolerance for their beliefs.
The worst are full of passionate intensity
December 29, 2006 12:06 AM
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About Rory

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