In the year 2011, the Earth will run out of electricity.

And then we are all going to get very cold.

My tip is that you make sure you have a thermos full of hot soup ready right before it happens.

Unfortunately, I am not currently allowed to tell you in which month the Earth will run out of electricity, so you're going to have to make a lot of soup - starting December 31st, 2010.

What kind of soup is up to you. Whether it's tomato or minestrone, you're still going to die.

Also, don't share. If other people you know, even family members, weren't smart enough to prepare for this, then they deserve what they're going to get. Hit them with your thermos to teach them a lesson about ignoring a prophesied apocalypse.

After beating people up with your thermos, you should gloat while eating your soup, and mention often that it is warm. Make a list of synonyms for "warm" before the electricity runs out. That way your gloating will not be perceived as being repetitive.

When the other thermos-beaten people who didn't make their own soup die from the lack of electricity, you can use their bodies to build a shelter that will last until the Earth gets its electricity back, which could be anywhere from 2014 to 4097.

This is true, by the way. I have a source on the "inside" who passed this along to me.

Ignore this warning if you wish, but be ready to take a Spiderman-themed thermos to your face when the time comes.

Idiots. ALL OF YOU.

I'm going to go look up some soup recipes.