I wear suspenders but can't take people who wear bow ties seriously.  What does that say?

Isn't the blog fun?  I blog for fun.  And make stupid videos and put them on YouTube for fun.  I wear suspenders in some of them.  I wear a mask in all of them.  Sometimes I wear multiple masks and pretend to have conversations.  With myself.  Hmmmmm.

Um.  You play xbox sometime right?  I know you have an xbox live subscription that is current.

You write.

You travel.

You surf the web.

You read.

Jesus Rory, just read some old blog posts.  :)

I've heard you make passing comments using the words "fun", "your mother", and "perfume shopping" in the same sentence with a completely straight face to me.  I believe that your podcasts would count as being "fun" or else you wouldn't be doing them and you wouldn't get upset if someone left you a negative review.
But at the same time, just because you're good at something you do, doesn't mean it's fun.

I don't want to hear that you don't know how to have fun!  I was the one guy on the team that had to go into a 2 hour meeting while you guys shot Sampy with nerf bullets and laughed like giddy little girls!  ;)

No really, fun is different for every person.  I have fun by sitting at home watching Scrubs DVDs with my wife while checking e-mail.  It's sad, but true and I'm content.  For me, having fun is being content.

Every once and a while I have to jump out of my boundaries and do something "fun" though.  Next time the wife's not around and we're working late, let's go boozin' and I can live vicariously through you.  Talk about fun!

I agree with Erik - fun is entirely subjective.

I bought a snazzy camera and take random photos of stuff for fun. It's a strange kind of fun, but hey.

I guess I don't need the giddy childish run quite so much, as that just about describes my 8 year relationship with my fiancee. (I'm childish, she's giddy.) So I get more than enough of that. I play a lot of computer games, but that's more of a deeply held addiction at this point.

I also arrange surprise holidays for my fiancee for fun, it's fun to torture her as she doesn't like surprises (mine are awesome, I'm the best at surprising her.)

I write bad poetry for fun, or stare at the beauty of the world. But then I'm kinda strange in that regard.

Of course, to some people life is so fun that they don't really understand the concept of "doing something for fun." (Note: I don't think this is you, but it could be.)

You could try playing hide and seek with your colleagues or friends (outside of work though, bosses tend to take it hard when they find you hiding in the cupboard at work.) - it's an awesome game, and I'm constantly disappointed that adults don't play it.

Oooopp... Not having to pretend to work really does allow me to rant doesn't it?

Fun is what you do when you realize you have nothing you HAVE to do right at that moment. For me, it's listening to music or audiobooks or podcasts, watching TV, watching movies (in the theater or at home), reading, writing, calling friends or family to chat, visiting friends or family, or even doing things that need to be done but aren't urgent, just so I can cross them off the list.

And sleeping. Sleeping is always fun, except for nightmares. Luckily, I'm not prone to them.

There's no one answer to the question, and there's no answer that will be right for you all the time. What is fun for me on Monday may be unbearable on Wednesday. It just depends on what you're in the mood for.

It is even just barely possible that, for you, work is fun. If so, count yourself supremely lucky. Many people, probably most people, keep work and fun in separate boxes, never to meet.

Since I've avowed to reincarnate as the presumptuous and intellectually arrogant prick I used to be, I'll state that your search for the essence of fun is futile, simply because it's an instance of the Socratian fallacy that abstract terms can be understood as something separate from the instances in which they manifest themselves. Fun, like courage and what is good, is easily recognized when we encounter it, yet as a term it eludes definition. In layman's terms, fun is neither static nor objective, but subject to subjectivity, so to speak, and to the fluid nature of the time-space experience.

In actual layman's terms, what is fun for me might not be fun to you, and what is fun to me today is not the same as it was ten years ago, or will be in another ten years. At various times, the greatest fun in the world has been playing soccer with my best mate after school, playing computer games, touching some new girl's breast, fighting battles of rhetoric with my language-geek friends, getting drunk out of my skull to the point of losing my brain in the gutter and vomiting all over the poor gray thing, having exotic sex, hanging out at late-night cafés with my mates, reading Whitman, and getting married. These days, I get my kicks watching my one year old girl learn new tricks (like yesterday, when she pretended to hand me something, withdrew it, shook her head and was all egotistical glee).

I've never been very conscious about fun, though. Since it's not discrete, you can't really put it in a timetable: from 1600 to 1800 Wednesday I'm having fun. What does that entry tell you about the rest of the timetable? I try to have a bit of a laugh wherever I go.

Fun is indeed subjective.

To find out what's fun for you you'll have to get bored first. Busy people don't know what fun is.
Just force yourself to do nothing for a day or maybe two days. If you catch yourself thinking "gee I'm really borded, i wish i could do x" then you know x is something you consider fun..

For me that's programming.. its sad but its true.... so be prepared not to like the answer.

Okay...so "fun" for Punky is hearing/reading his/her own words in public. Great. However. The question was not "What is the essential, universal meaning of the word, 'fun?'"

The question here is, "What is fun to Rory?"

Rory cannot remember this concept because it is a new one. It has nothing to do with survival, or the daily functions of life. It does not mean, "Finding a way to make the crappy stuff in life endurable."

Fun is something which serves no function but itself. Like a "Gift:" It's an activity done for pleasure alone. Its fulfillment is, by definition, in no way related to survival.

Example:

Eating = Necessary for survival.

Dessert = Not necessary for survival.

By nature, dessert follows a meal. We are generally not hungry *after* eating because we have satisfied the need for food. Dessert, therefore, is eaten for pleasure alone. It's totally uncessary for survival, but it does still serve a function (otherwise we wouldn't do it). Dessert's function is sensual enjoyment. Pleasure. Fun.

Example 2:

Toothbrush and ankle socks:
Necessary for daily hygiene. Kind of a pain in the ass when in a hurry, tired, or drunk.
*NOT* GOOD GIFTS.

Bathtime Tickle-Me Elmo Doll:
Not necessary for any aspect of survival or well-being (including masturbation, you sickos. The naked hand serves its function just fine).

Bathtime Tickle-Me Elmo Doll: Totally uncessary, indulgent, and mildy disturbing:
VERY GOOD GIFT.

Fun. Rory?

I tried to get you to pose this question to yourself many, many times. I guess the missing catalyst was suspenders (how could I not have thought of this?).

Some things off the top of my head I might suggest Rory might consider fun (recall, fun = unnecessary but awesome):

- Video games
- Shopping/Fashion
- People watching
- Deep late night conversations with random people in internet cafes
- Singing
- Playing guitar
- Writing music
- Laying on couches and having head scratched by beautiful women
- Playing with hair in front of mirror while humming U2 songs
- Hour long showers while singing in French
- Driving and singing
- Cranium
- Old Town Pizza
- Admiring Giselle
- Finding the most inopportune and awkward possible moment to spit chewed gumwad out toward foot with an explosive "p-too!" and catapult it off tip of (very expensive) shoe toward nearest unwitting passerby
- Watching movies
- Talking about well done tv shows, past and present
- Talking about crappilly done tv shows, past and present
- Standing nekked in middle of living room, doing the "Helicoptor Dance" for whatever lucky lady might be present.

I guess all boys like the last one. There's a general "Fun" vote, ah?

Rollercoasters.

Every three of four years I have to go on a "rollercoaster bender" for a day.  I'm overdue one at the moment, so I'm pretty grumpy.

Bah.


Herbie

<China Girl>Okay...so "fun" for Punky is hearing/reading his/her own words in public.</China Girl>

Actually, fun for punky is listening to the sound of his own words, public or private. (What am I, after all, but a child, pleas’d with the sound of my own name?)

<China Girl>However. The question was not "What is the essential, universal meaning of the word, 'fun?'" The question here is, "What is fun to Rory?"</China Girl>

I believe there were many questions posed in the blog post. While I might agree that the more interesting/pressing question (to Rory, at least) is the one you are highlighting, those of us who have never met Mr Blyth are in no position to even begin to answer that question. Even people we encounter daily have a tendency to exploit their fundamental otherness to evade your grasp, just when we think we have them sprawling on a pin. How much worse, then, to make any assumptions regarding a stranger known only through fiction? And so I focussed on my own interpretation of the following quote from the blog post: "Tell me what fun looks like. What it feels like. Does fun have a smell?" To me, at least, this sounds like an inquiry into the nature of fun itself.

As an aside, it's interesting to note how you go on to use examples to illustrate what fun is, much like I claimed one would have to.

go to a rave, but don´t stay around the main dance area in the middle of the crowd, walk around the "borders" where you can see people dancing like crazy, (sometimes under some crazy ass drugs) do some folksearching, see some hot chicks, wait for the dawn to come by, and enjoy it silently as best as you can

that´s aways fun for me. bonus points if you go with someone but you two don´t talk much, just watch people go by, dancing and stoned, then the dawn, it´s aways awesome

Things, stuff, that's what I do for fun.
Right now I love online pot limit omaha poker. And I always love to ponder what gravity or the universe is. Or what observation is like, in the philosophical sense.
Blogs, commenting on blogs is awesome.
Making calculations, I wish spreadsheets were widely available when I was much younger but pen, paper and a calculator kicked ass too, especially when figuring out what a few tonnes of an unstable element become when it falls apart and what it falls apart in falls apart etc over a certain period of time and if the new stuff would add up as for the total mass to prove my calculations right.
Mucking about with computers.
Googling for stuff, for example what has happened to a certain band of which i can remember the name from 20-30 years ago that disappeared (but it's sometimes too easy).
Blogging (the subject, pot limit omaha poker, might not be interesting to many, but it is fun to do the research - I love to do research so:)
Research.

I crashed my previous try at a comment. But it was long, so I might just as well take the opportunity at a shorter version.

- research (just anything)
- pot limit omaha poker
- reading and commenting blogs

They do not necessarily give hapiness, but always fun.

"Some things off the top of my head I might suggest Rory might consider fun (recall, fun = unnecessary but awesome):"

To which I might add:
- looking good.... no: great... no wait: dashingly handsome

I'm confused. If when you go to a shrink you know exactly what they are going to say, and what you are going to say, then why not get a couple of action figures, draw a bow tie and suspenders on one and then just walk through each session yourself? And then spend the money you save on a jet ski (not sure why I said jet ski, they don't sound like fun to me - but there you go)

And as for the fun thing itself, perhaps you should try a phased approach, i.e. calibrate with a few a few things that definitely aren't fun (hand in a blender, sales meeting etc) and then move on to things that might be fun (writing programs, making cartoons) and those that really should be fun (playing computer games, eating good food etc). Then see where that takes you.

One of the things that I've found is that because I enjoy my work I don't feel the need to spend as much time "enjoying myself" when I'm not working. People I know who hate their work put huge emphasis on the "having fun" bits of their life because they are the only bits of fun they have. Poor souls. Don't feel obliged to "have fun" if you enjoy what you do anyway.

Actually, I've figured it out. Given the size of your ego, the thing that you do for maximum fun is "be Rory Blyth".

I love buying a case of 48 inch flourescent lightbulbs, putting on safety goggles, and play out the star wars fight scenes with my girlfriend.   Every once and a while, the pressurized glass containers will explode into millions of shards of glass spreading over about a 10 foot area.  Its glorious and it brings me to laughing tears every time I do it.    Its even more fun when our neighbors try and park in the glass shards before we clean up.

Your shrink is stupid as evidenced by the fact that he asked you an irrelevant question.  The question he should have asked is, "What do you do, while conscious, that causes or allows you to lose track of time?"

This is the essential question.

Since he didn't ask, I am asking, "Rory, what do you do, while conscious, that causes or allows you to lose track of time?"

Fun?

For someone with so many stories and cool toys you don't know fun?? Crack an egg over your 360. That's kinda fun. Call your latest ex and ring the phone of your ex before her on three way and while the two argue over who called who silently whisper your name at a quiet moment. That's kinda fun too. Call the fire department on your mom and explain that she cooked the steaks in too much Wesson catching the kitchen curtains on fire. That's kinda fun. The point is, fun is what you make of it. Whether you're flicking spitballs across the room, picking toe-jam out of big-bub, or frying an omlet over a Microsoft emblem, if you're smiling then you're having "fun". Try not to over think the question and go with what comes natural. That's the right answer.

Hey Rory has anyone ever told you that you kinda look like the guy what did that movie...Garden State...Zach Braff or something?

I've found that nothing helps me unwind quite like making a short list of all the people I owe thousands of dollars to, and then paying them.

Though indoor rock climbing is also pretty fun, especially if you're small.

Rob Miles
"I'm confused. If when you go to a shrink you know exactly what they are going to say, and what you are going to say, then why not get a couple of action figures, draw a bow tie and suspenders on one and then just walk through each session yourself? And then spend the money you save on a jet ski (not sure why I said jet ski, they don't sound like fun to me - but there you go)"

Shrinks prescribe drugs. Action figures don't. Shrink wins because you pay for the privelegde of acquiring said drugs legally but then again playing with action figures may release endorphins that could never be matched by again said drugs.

China Girl (Hi China!), did the best job of answering this question. (This should really come as no surprise...).

It's blatantly obvious the things you do for fun Rory. Fun is those times you're laughing or smiling or feeling whatever and totally enjoying a moment. The ones where when the drift through your mind, bring a smile to your face.

You've had tons of those moments in your life, your years, your weeks, your days and your hours and you've provided many of those moments for others. Just close your eyes and look back.

You're a fun guy. The question just threw you because you...well, there are a lot of thoughts I could throw out, but you know best why you couldn't answer even though there were tons of answers available.

Sigh, hopefully I get a chance to run up to Seattle again soon and just hang out again. That was fun.

Fun for me is making memories. I accomplish that through skiing, riding a motorcycle, or hanging out with friends in a bar. Find your own activity, but if you wake up the morning smiling because of the memories you made the night before, then you're probably on the right track.

Tell him for fun you visit shrinks.  I mean, as often as you claim to have done so, it can't be too far from the truth, can it?  You don't really seem to have a masochistic streak.  At least you'll be able to see how seriously Mr. Suspenders takes himself.

I used to go dancing for fun and I used to go to SCA events for fun, but recently I've been scrambling to keep money coming, and trying to find fun along the way.

Your blog hates my comments. It keeps eating them. Should I take that as a sign?

I:
- take myself on field trips
- fly a kite
- go sledding
- make out with my hot code monkey bf
- scavenger hunts & puzzles (I highly recommend the online archives of the annual MIT Puzzle Hunt)
- dance
- throw a party
- volunteer
- go trash golfing

...also, the more I read of Erik Porter's posts, the more I'm convinced we're the same person.  That guy MUST be fun!  Hang out with him more! haha

These are what I do for fun:
Hunting, fishing, sledding, backpacking, go to movies, target shooting, snow shoeing, or go camping.

Not sure any of these would appeal to you but if you do any of them please film it and post it when you get back.

What did I say last time? Oh yes... More fun things.

I'm only replying as a challenge to myself to create activities which should be fun. (This is good practice for the career I'll never get as I'm too lazy to do any work.)

Right, as I see it the core of any activity that can be called fun, is that it provides a near instant gratification above and beyond mere satisfaction. On that count the following things are required for an activity to be fun:
- consequences
- very little delay between activity and consequences
- consequences should be cool when everything goes well
- consequences should be spectacular when everything goes badly.
- One of the consequences should be a rush of endorphins into the bloodstream.
- Said endorphin rush should be natural and sustainable. (addictive fun is not a good thing.)

Therefore the following activities are fun:
Russian Roulette driving range golf (where one in every 10 balls is the exploding kind.)
Shopping trolley punting. (as in boats - look it up if you must.)
Trying to get people on the bus to be paranoid by looking in their direction, muttering under your breath etc...
Running down long grassy slopes. (The kind which are just too steep to run down comfortably.)

That's all for now, as I'm supposed to be going bedwards.

Have fun! (This is actually my standard whatever-the-opposite-of-a-greeting-is.)

First post on one of your non-technical posts, but that obsession with fun really gets me worked up:
What's so great about "fun" anyway? I mean I can see the value of <i>joy</i>, of <i>fulfillment</i>, <i>ecstasy</i>... but <i>fun</i>? Fun is such a sad thing once you think about it; I don't know...
What about this answer: "Look, I came here to work on my existential issues and to learn how better to express my genius, and you're asking me what I do for FUN? What are you, a bloody epicurean? Do you really think my life is so meaningless that I should just kill time by having FUN? What's the matter with you? Do you think, oh, great, I'll just have some fun and then die, and that was my great life as Mr. Suspenders Oh-what-a-fun-guy-I-am-haha Shrink? Is that your concept of human existence? How sad."
In the process, please don't forget to throw some suitable object (pen, book, chair...) at him and then stare at him in utter contempt.

For fun, I skateboard, play racquetball, bake bread (artisan breads), play with my daughter, build things (like a shed and patio cover), etc.

You should try something like that. Ping-pong is another good, fun thing to do. Get off the computer, whatever you do.

Totally off-topic (maybe), but I have been curious whether or not you are acquainted with Mr. Fluevog's wonderful shoes:

http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=search%3Agibson&pp=1&view=detail&p=2&colourID=36

Those are my fave of his shoes, but you should really look at his others, you might fancy them.

Punky: How are you? I'm well. I like to write, too.

This is a friendly nudge: I *want* to read what you write, but it's so full of...like...Stuff. Toss in a single-syllable word once in a while, would ya?

It's okay. Really.

Hi to you too, George!

:)

Well, a different question to ask is, "What do you want?"

Although an easy response would be, "I don't know what I want," it may likely be that we don't believe we can receive that which we want.  Therefore, it is easier for us to simply say, "I don't know."

Nevertheless, we do want.  We do have desires for our life, we do have images of what we can be, do, or have.  So, simply:

"What do you want?"

When I was young, playing with Legos was fun.

http://www.thebricktestament.com/

Ouch.  Interesting use of Legos!  

Um...  Fidgets,  might be some fun in there somewhere.

I'm good, China Girl (actually, I'm home with a fever, but in principle I'm feeling good). Glad to hear you're good as well. Sorry if I came across as cross, I wasn't, and I didn't intend to.

I know I stuff in a lot of stuff when I write about stuff. Part of it is willed, part of it is an affliction. I promise I'll try to give the single-syllable words a fairer deal in the future ;-)

I decided this weekend that fun is wherever you find it.
Fun things I did this weekend:

Eating fried-egg sandwiches and trying to avaoid dribbling yolk all doen my shirt.
Putting my 2-year-old son in a cardboard box and 'delivering' him to his mum in the next room (note: it was his idea, I'm not abusing him with cruel unusual punishments).
Going for a walk in the sunshine with my wife (without the kids).
Digging holes in our lawn (fenceposts) with my son "helping" by standing in the hole whenever I turned by back.
Discovering I now have 5 years worth of photos on my PC.
Dancing with my kids to whatevers on the radio.


I'm either having fun or going insane.  Either way I'm kind of enjoying it.

Herbie

xstine -

"I've heard you make passing comments using the words "fun", "your mother", and "perfume shopping" in the same sentence with a completely straight face to me."

That's because I *do* like going perfume shopping with your mother :)

I actually like going perfume shopping with almost anyone, but your mom in particular is an interesting lady. I know she's *your* mom, and so there's bound to be baggage and other stuff that confuses things, but I tend to enjoy myself when we hang out. We talk poetry - I teach her about fragrances. It all balances out.

Also, I didn't learn until this year that *your uncle* invented the ocilloscope.

Do you have any idea just how effing marvelous that is?

"I believe that your podcasts would count as being "fun" or else you wouldn't be doing them and you wouldn't get upset if someone left you a negative review."

Well... the podcast isn't fun quite yet.

As one of a very smalll handful of people who know what BS2006 was, you can probably understand why very little from last year could be "fun" to me.

Lately, though, I've been writing some custom content for the show - stuff that's actually themed around being the smartest man in the world - and that *has* been fun. It's a new character, where, before, it was just me reading my podcast.

It's always fun having a new character to play with.

I get upset about the negative reviews because, right now, there are hardly any reviews at all, so any negative ones will have a major impact on my overall score.

When my blog was starting, it started slowly. I had a chance to build up a base of readers who generally enjoy what goes on here, and, more importantly, *get it*.

My podcast spent time last week in the top 25 comedy podcasts on iTunes (that's almost bigger than getting that nice promotional thingy). It went from being practically unheard of to being pretty widely downloaded.

The people who are downloaded it didn't grow up with the show the way many readers grew up with the blog. A lot of the people who are here are probably here by word of mouth, because they saw me talk, because they listened to .NET Rocks (another podcast I was on), and so on - something from the past that gave them context.

Now, we have people from all over the world downloading the podcast, not entirely sure if I'm kidding or not. I know it's hard to believe, but there are people on this planet who have *zero* sense of humor, and when someone like that encounters a podcast called "Rory Blyth: The Smartest Man in the World," I think that someone might take issue with the title and my lack of credentials to back it up.

I get upset, then, because I feel that a couple negative reviews are indicative of a larger problem that needs to be fixed, which means I need to get show-specific content up there as quickly as possible, and that means stress, which means... part fun/part not.

See the confusion?

"But at the same time, just because you're good at something you do, doesn't mean it's fun."

That is such an amazingly excellent point.

By the same token, being awful at something doesn't mean you don't thoroughly enjoy yourself.

Growing up, you might remember that my father surfed quite a bit.

I wanted to surf, too. It was what my father did, and I admired the hell out of my father, so wanted to give it a shot.

The truth is that I was *terrible* at it, but I loved the ritual. I loved the gear. And I loved it when I had the occasional good day.

Part of the problem is that I left high school in part to spend more time surfing, and it was a huge disappointment. They did something do my wonderful Shortsands beach. I don't know what, but for three years straight, the surf was terrible. It was either flat, or it was stormy, making it a disgusting mess.

Growing up, I just remember nice, glassy (but small) waves, perfect for longboarding, relaxing and all that.

I was told that there was some kind of dredging operation going on or something. Whatever it was, it created a very uneven ocean floor, even in the usually protected cove that is Shortsands. The result was that, what was once a beautiful wave, turned into this sick, weird, dangerous, or horribly dull thing (depending on the weather and time of year).

I'd go from the first of spring through November, every weekend, sometimes having to sit it out on the rocks while it rained, waiting for it to get good.

It never got good.

And I never had a good environment in which to get any better at surfing. I had to just take the rare, rare, *rare* good wave as it came, and enjoy it (it's probably one of the best feelings in the universe - catching a good wave - there's something so satisfying about the sense of speed, while watching what look like spider webs of foam disappear behind you - it's partly an illusion, but *so* beautiful).

That was that.

I left surfing being a terrible surfer, but with many fond memories of having *tried*. There was also the matter of going into town when the surf was particularly awful and looking for ladyfolk who wouldn't mind spending the rest of the day in the company of a couple young, awkward, but somehow charming fellows :) That was fun, too (even though I wasn't good at it (yet))...

JoshBaltzell -

"Um.  You play xbox sometime right?  I know you have an xbox live subscription that is current."

I haven't had as much time to play lately. I miss it.

I don't know that I would always consider it fun, but it provides me with an amazing platform for escapism.

And, because of Xbox Live, I tend to spend more time being uber competitive than I do having genuine fun. I think there's fun mixed in there, but it's only when I'm playing PGR3, some asshole decides to play dirty, and, because of his dirty playing, he manages to get himself into a bad situation (you can't run into *everybody* and hope it goes well), which puts a smile on my face.

But, it's a *wicked* smile. It's that, "Take that, asshole!" smile.

Which isn't fun. It's vengeful.

I do have real fun, but I have to have time to really get into a game, and something always seems to come up to derail me.

Do you remember the stupid P Diddy song, the one written by Sean Puffy Combs, formerly Puff Daddy, now known simply as "P" or whatever it is that he's chosedn, called "Mo' Money"?

Stupid song, and he only wrote it to *get* "Mo' Money," but the lyrics, whether the sentiment was genuine or not, were accurate.

The more money I've made, the more temptations have come along, and that's raised the baseline for the number of things I need to be aware of each day, and that's not fun. I think it's part of being adult (at least according to what the general population would think), but I don't care for it.

I understand, for example, why my grandmother chose to live in the same apartment for decades until the day she died.

It was simple. It wasn't exciting, but she didn't feel the need to "move up", she was happy as long as her car got her to the grocery store (e.g., she didn't need a modified Mini Cooper S), and, although she liked the thought of travel, she was content to hang out at home, surf the web, see what was doing elsewhere on the globe, but not actually go there. And she was one hell of an adventurous lady, so that's saying something.

She found a balance of things that kept her happy. She led a simple life, which I feel was part of that.

When you don't have expendable income, you don't worry so much about what you don't have - you're just happy to have what you need.

When you *do* have expendable income, not only is it addictive (because you see how it can broaden your horizons (for better or worse)), but you see how having more, more, more can make it better (that's untrue, according to many studies which show a total disconnect between income and happiness, but so many of us believe that money will lead us to happiness that I think we forget how to enjoy ourselves along the way, choosing instead to focus on how to make it to the next level of income and comfort).

Now I have more bills coming in, more toys, more options, actual paid vacation time, and so on.

And I'm speaking about them as though that were a *bad* thing. I don't think it is, in itself, while I do think that the pursuit of more, more, more *is*, and, unlike my grandmother who had a lifetime of fascinating events to reflect on, I'm still relatively young and have yet to figure out that I'm probably wasting the best years of my life by focusing more on where I'll be than where I am (paraphrasing Yoda there).

"You write."

Yes. And this *does* bring me joy. It brings me many other things as well, though, which most definitely aren't joy.

Writing can sometimes be a microscope under which to examine your problems, bringing out details you had never before noticed.

You wouldn't believe how many people have written to me over the years to warn me *against* writing for this very reason.

I think I've learned how to take it, but there have been periods when I wish I had heeded their advice (such as September of 2005, when I was absolutely hell-bent on killing myself - I mean, I *would have done it* if it hadn't been for Aydika - I was yelling at her, telling her to get out of the apartment, but instead, she sat by the door for an entire night, refusing to budge, while also getting up to make sure I hadn't found a novel way to kill myself in the apartment - prior to that, I had been sitting in my apartment for about three days, blinds-drawn, sobbing, trying to figure out if it was what I really wanted to do - I eventually decided that it was, and, looking back, I'm terrified to say that I would have done it if she had left like I told her to).

"You travel."

Mostly for business.

Except for the trip to Fiji nearly two years ago, I don't think I've gone on a strictly for-pleasure trip.

Even when I went to visit Tee, it was something made convenient because it was on the way to a team meeting in Ohio.

I'm still terrible at separating business from pleasure. Channel 9 is making that easier (I have *real* weekends now, and my evenings are my own to do with as I please - an amazing, liberating feeling after 2.5 years not knowing when I was going to get the call to say that I had to be on the east coast, or in Texas, or Florida by the morning because a teammate called in sick).

I think I gave up 50 vacation hours when Microsoft's fiscal year rolled over in December.

I won't be doing the same this year. Jeff Sanquist, aside from being super manager guy on the job, also *knows* how important it is for us to get away and get our minds off work.

I'm sloooooowly learning about vacation.

"You surf the web."

Sort of. Not like I used to. I don't explore that much, in part because, the more I see of the web, the more I see your average human being's capacity for cruelty. People turn into real bastards when they fire up their web browsers (take Beer28 for example - what a fuck, you know?).

"You read."

And *that*, I'm happy to say, *does* bring me pleasure.

But it isn't *fun*. I don't scream like a girl out of surprise, or laugh until I cry.

Consider my reading material, too :) It's almost entirely part of my continuing education (from having dropped out of everything since high school). I love to learn, and there are some moments when I do get some sort of dopamine rush (I'm assuming it's dopamine - hitting the reward centers of my brain after I've read something that pleases me in a shocking way) from putting the pieces together.

Just yesterday, I derived great satisfaction from reading about how the spread of Islam, from roughly 610 CE through 750 CE, sparked some off the most influential thinking in science the world had ever seen - how Muslims were translating ancient Greek, Roman, and Indian texts into Arabic, and that it was through *some* of these translations that we still have some of these texts today.

That isn't what got me interested, though.

The book completely fails to mention anything about the possibility of some Islamic groups having been responsible for the final destruction of the (relatively-often-attacked-for-a-library) Library at Alexandria, which is where the western world housed many of the originals of these texts. Scrolls by dramatists, philosophers, mathematicians, and so on - gone.

It isn't confirmed that the final destruction of the library was at the hands of Muslims (although I'm sure history books dating back a couple decades would happily tell you that's the case - *definitively*), but, if it was, then it puts together a very interesting picture in which, provided some historians are correct, the same people who destroyed the originals had their own translated copies, and so, the people who destroyed all that knowledge might also be the people who saved it.

It also raises questions about the nature of Islam when it first arose (during its spread by the caliphs), the nature of Islam over the next few hundred years, and the nature of Islam *now*. Given all the ways different Muslims choose to interpret the Qur'an, one would think there might be a way to piece everything together to determine how *Muhammad* intended the Qur'an to be read.

It makes you wonder why things are the way they are today. For example, Osama bin Laden's view which is that the Crusades never ended. While I can understand why someone might be offended by attempts to "take back" the Holy Land centuries ago by people who had no right to it in the first place would be anger-making, it's odd because he's a well educated guy, yet he doesn't seem to consider what happened between the "east" and the "west" (at the time, those distinctions didn't really exist - certainly not the way they do now, and not in today's meaning) prior to the Crusades, and why some others might be pissed off because of potential damage that was done to science and mathematics by the spread of Islam (I'm not talking about the initial spread, which did a lot of *good* for science and math, but for what may or may not have happened later - and the same can be said for Christianity at many points throughout history, but Islam is much more foreign to me and outside my understanding, so provides more ground for "fun" thinking).

'Course, *because* of the spread of Islam, we have the Indian number system today (more often called Arabic numerals, but that's wrong - the Arab world may have rediscovered and preserved them, but they didn't invent the suckers - that happened farther east) which allowed for mathematical advances in the west that wouldn't have otherwise been possible (at least not without inventing our own number system first that was as good as the Indian system for doing complex (i.e., beyond basic arithematic) math).

It might sound like a stretch, but if the Arab world hadn't preserved the Indian numbering system, then we wouldn't have had Kepler, Newton, Descartes, or, depending on just how long we took to catch up to what the Indians had done centuries before, *Einstein*.

It's a huge stretch, I know, but Einstein didn't just dream everything up overnight - there was a large body of work that preceded him, and in which he had to see flaws before he could do his own messy-haired magic.

Think about it.

If Islam hadn't carried the Indian number system forward through the centuries:

1. We might still think the Earth was at the center of the universe

2. We might not know a damned thing about gravity

3. Hiroshima and Nagasaki *might not have happened*

And those are just the highlights.

OK. I got really tangential there.

That stuff is "fun" to think about, but it's the sort of stuff I keep to myself. I don't (typically) write about it here because it doesn't seem like it'd be of interest to most people.

The reason I can't totally think of it as "fun" is that, for me, I think "fun" usually requires that I share an experience with someone. I can have my little charlatanesque thoughts about what the world would be like if Muhammad had never been born, but I can't talk to those thoughts, or drive those thoughts at a high rate of speed around corners at night, and so on...

Fun is weird.

"It doesn't solve any problems for anybody, but I guess I'd say it's "fun" to sit around and think about this stuff."

Weird - I didn't read this part of your post until right now, yet I think I just spent ten minutes writing out something which more or less says, "I agree - to a point."

"Jesus Rory, just read some old blog posts.  :)"

They make me sad.

I look at the archives, and here's what I see:

- The loss of Kori (ex-girlfriend whom I loved very much, but who was with me at the most emotionally turbulent time of my life)

- The loss of Aydika (ex-fiancee, again, whom I loved very much, but who was with me at the end of my growing pains, where I was just finally figuring out how to be a "good boyfriend/fiance/almost-husband", rather than being there for the payoff)

- The loss of Mystery Girl (the one in the side photos whose name I won't reveal), the loss of Thera, the loss of... well there were other mystery girls in there, too :)

- The loss of my grandmother

- The anger in my posts from last year - some really sleazy, shitty things happened to me during the last few months of my time on my last team - some things caused by managers, with others causes by "co"workers - but things that make me absolutely sick and pissed off.

It really wasn't until just a few weeks ago that I finally learned how to be happy without spending a bunch of money, without doing anything wreckless, without trying to damage my life in any way, and that is, *so* simply, family. I had to go through hell and my grandmother's death before I learned that, but, now that I've learned it, it makes so much sense that I don't understand how I could have missed it all these years.

But, fun still eludes me. Not because I don't have it - I think I do from time to time - but, because, were you to ask me again, "What do you do for fun?" I still couldn't answer.

I know how to have a good time, I guess. I know how to show up at a party and be the obnoxious bastard who starts telling stories in a corner that attract people, but I think that's me just looking, as I always am, for acceptance. Making people laugh - seeing how long I can make them smile - makes me feel like I'm being accepted.

And I don't think, however it may appear from the outside, that trying to solve some major personal psychological problem is the way to have fun.

*sigh*

Very interesting thoughts, Rory.
Keep sharing them. It's fun. ;)

Which makes me think...

Most of the time, my idea of fun is closely related to what arouses intellectual interest to me. However, I find that this kind of fun - let's call it "fun of the 1st type" - can become tiring when I'm with people only able to have that type of fun. Actually, I get bored with them pretty quickly.

I think that the other type of fun - which I surprisingly call "fun of the 2nd type" - the type of fun that only requires a couple of neurons in good condition, the fun that's totally dumb, which means gratuitous to me, like "Filming a coworker getting shot in the face", is necessary as well to make the tiring type of fun work.

Data point: I came to the blog after seeing the podcast banner on iTunes. (Is there an easy way to go back and read the blog archives? I feel like I'm coming in at chapter 20 of a book and the Cliff's Notes aren't helping much.) I stayed because I like reading what you have to say. And I'm going right now to review the podcast.

Obviously I was kidding when I said "Tell him for fun you visit shrinks" because obviously you weren't asking a serious question.  Having fun is a state of mind and if you don't know how to have fun that's a state of mind you should be working on with the shrink.  So the good answer for the shrink is, "I've forgotten how to have fun, can you help me recover that ability?"

What to do for fun? I know a girl called Elsa, she's into alkaseltzer...

How about joining a religion? :) You might discover something fun there.

Rory, I couldn't hear your latest show because the streaming stopped at 12:12.578 and it was not my connection. What's wrong? I want to know the end of the story, please. :)

How about this for Mr. Suspenders:  you (Rory) ARE fun.  Just as the eye cannot see itself, you cannot see what you Do for fun, being Fun personified.  
Might get some good drugs, at least.

Are you *really* sure you want to find out what fun is? The problem is once you find fun, loosing it is all the more unpleasant.

That said "fun" is overused and indeed inaccurately used too; there are lots of things we tag as fun when we really mean intellectually engaging, or stimulating, or pleasant, or satisfying but fun that broad smiling warmth from your very core is singuarly elusive most often.

Aim for contented.  I think fun is overrated; but what do I know!

"Noel" -

"What to do for fun? I know a girl called Elsa, she's into alkaseltzer..."

I know.

She sniffs it through a cane on a supersonic train.

And she needs to find a way for what she wants to say.

It looks like she found it.

I'm surprised you came back.

Don't leave.

Andrew -

"Data point: I came to the blog after seeing the podcast banner on iTunes. (Is there an easy way to go back and read the blog archives? I feel like I'm coming in at chapter 20 of a book and the Cliff's Notes aren't helping much.) I stayed because I like reading what you have to say. And I'm going right now to review the podcast."

I'm not sure there's an *easy* way to go back.

My old blog software was much better for getting to the archives. The current stuff makes it a bit difficult.

I've been meaning to make it easier to go back and start from the beginning (April, 2003 - can't believe it's been that long), but haven't had time to do it. So very busy right now.

But, I'll look into it. There *should* be an easier way. I agree.

And I'll see what I can do...

"Rory, I couldn't hear your latest show because the streaming stopped at 12:12.578 and it was not my connection. What's wrong? I want to know the end of the story, please. :)"

Blue, my dear... not sure what's wrong with it.

I'd suggest that you go to http://thesmartestman.com and just download the show. If there's a streaming error, then this will be a good way get around it.

"I'm not sure there's an *easy* way to go back."

Clicking on the topics gives some of the archives, so that's one way. You tend to lose context, but that's a minor problem. I probably won't go ALL the way back to the beginning however, at least not until I have a couple of weeks off.

Are you sure you don't mean... Don't go away?

I'm always here, just thought I'd let it be known.

Noel -

"Are you sure you don't mean... Don't go away?"

I'm clever - you know that - but I'm not *that* clever.

"I'm always here, just thought I'd let it be known."

Are you?

The late poster strikes again...

Instead of suggesting activities, I will pour (spew?) forth my theories on fun, for more intellectual types. Now before anyone calls me a snob, shut yer yap. All I mean is some people enjoy mental activity and seek it out, others don't, and there isn't a direct correlation between that preference and your intelligence.

Phew.

Theory 1: Intellectuals like more than one kind of stimulation at a time. For instance, I love amusement parks. I don't just love the rides for the sensations I feel on them (though that is a necessary part of it) but I love figuring out how the machinery behind the ride works. Two kinds of stimulation at the same time.

Theory 2: Intellectuals love to "hack" things. My dad had a small film projector when I was growing up. Watching movies on it was fun, but taking it apart - something he encouraged me to do, btw, love him for that - was more fun. Computer games are fun, but ones that allow editing of rules and offer many possibilities for mucking about under the hood, those are way more fun to me.

Theory 3: Intellectuals tire of things they are good at, if doing them becomes mindlessly repetitive. For instance, I love programming. I'm good at it, and very modest about this. But my day-to-day job has become mindless - I am repeating the same programming tasks again and again, just on slightly different products. The challenge is gone. I'm re-kindling my programming bug by doing a crazy project in my spare time - writing a program to try and solve a game of solitaire. My spark is back, and I can get through the mindless stuff because of it.

There you have it, Rory. I peg you as an "intellectual" by my definition above. I think you would get bored with *anything* you have mastered, as it risks becoming mindless and repetitive. The doctor advises you to keep trying new things or new variations on old things, to rekindle your sense of fun.

Bork! Bork!

i tried to show you fun, but you weren't really into running around killing snakes in my silly mmo. if you can't have fun doing that then i'm pretty sure you're hopeless.

Having fun is the joy of living.

There is so much I'd like to say to you, but I suck with words.  So I won't.  It wouldn't come out right.  I think I'm on your side.  Or, at least, I'm rooting for you.  I don't feel sorry for you, but I truly don't think you are looking for sympathy.  I think you're are broken, but not unrepairable.

I sincerely hope you find peace.  

I've found that my happiest moments have been when I'm not trying to pleasure myself.  

(See, I told you I *don't* have a way with words...)

Rory:
"I think I'm super great, and assume that everybody else thinks so, too, and that I'm doing them a favor by talking."

There's your fun!  Think of 'fun' as anything entertaining.  You're entertaining yourself by assuming that everyone thinks you're fabulous ((which you are might I add... your ability to speak your mind and make verbal all the nonsense in your head is admirable)).

Some people consider hobbies as 'fun.'  Me.... I like to picture some things in life in what I like to call cartoon mode.  I visualize different events playing as a cartoon.  My luck with men (or lack thereof), me simply being a klutz... oooo... and the best of all... when someone gets SUPER ticked off, I see them as a cartoon of course but with their face turning red, a steam meter next to their head and a countdown clock marking the seconds to a nuclear explosion.  It's entertaining.... it's funny... and that's what makes it fun to me.  I'm sure that people out there might not like the idea of me finding entertainment value in their shortcomings in life (ha ha ha) but heck... the more you laugh, the happier you are.  Don't worry about making other people laugh and smile to feel ‘accepted,’ rather make yourself laugh and that will draw people to you like a magnet.

Yup... didn't want that to turn into a motivational speech but apparently it needed to come out.

Oh crap!!!!!

... I just realized... if you go to your suspender man and tell him this version of fun, he might ask you to refer that person (being me) to another suspender person or worse yet a dude with a bow-tie!

I think the word fun is being over analyzed here.  It just comes down to whether or not you enjoy what you are doing.

Watching Hamlet on HD-DVD even though you have already seen performances of it dozens of times?  That must be fun.

Choosing to write a long blog post for little monetary gain when you could just write it and keep it to yourself?  That must be fun.

Telling jokes and stories in a group of people and having them laugh and enjoy your company?  If it's not fun then why do it?

Rory, you connect with more people just with this website than most people connect with in their entire lives.

You are a professional success.

People read the things you write.

You have traveled more than most people will ever travel (Business or not it doesn't matter.)

You have had several love affairs with beautiful women (Regardless of the outcomes I stand by the idea that it is better to have love and lost.)

Maybe you just need a pet.  Like one of those sweet robo-dogs.

You want fun?  You want to surf?

Head on over to Coppenhagen where apparently Dynamite Surfing is all the rage...

http://www.break.com/index/dynamite_surfing.html

There's a reason why 'Dane' rhymes with 'insane' ;-)

Chase fireflies.

Tee -

"Chase fireflies."

I tried, but you got in the way.

And I liked it.

Actually, to be honest, I was never chasing fireflies.

I was chasing you.

Forgive me, I'm just catching up on my reading...

"If he asks me what I do for fun, I don't want to just stare at him. I want to have something really cool to say"

Boy are you making this complicated!  I remember something fun, something that you do indeed consider to be fun... jumping in your little car, flying down the road while singing at the top of your lungs.  Or, try something new... you seemed to enjoy my talking to random strangers on the street.  Give it a try.  There, do you feel better now?  I take cash!