Nice...

Weird, I've thought about that same question.

I have a friend from the Phillipines, and his wife says that they ate plenty of dog while they were living over there. However every time I ask him about the flavor, is there a difference between the breeds, does he have a recipe, if I provide the dog will he cook it, etc... he always just laughs.

Would they serve dog veal in a calf-eh?

Aged pooch is finest.

That'll be why you didn't respond to my email! Or am I languishing in your junk folder once more?

Puppy == small dog, methinks. Nothing more, nothing less. Softer bones, though.

Glen -

"Would they serve dog veal in a calf-eh?"

You know how I feel about puns.

I don't care if you're on the other side of the country - I'm going to find you and then be angry with you. There will be no violence, but shame will reign over you like a bad ass Sith Lord - like Count Dookoo or Count Dookie or whatever Lucas called that piece of shit bad guy.

Take this seriously. Take this very seriously.

No more punning.

I will destroy you.

Ian -

"That'll be why you didn't respond to my email! Or am I languishing in your junk folder once more?"

That's probably the case. I just cleaned out my spam folder, but didn't find anything from you. Also didn't see anything from you in my inbox.

Don't know what you did this time, but it must have been so bad that my mail server just deleted it as soon as it arrived.

You can try resending if you think it has a hope in hell of getting to me.

I *did* accept your friend request on myspace. Had to think about it for a long time. I have a strict real-friends-only policy, and I wasn't sure if you had forgiven me yet for the time I almost chopped all your appendages off in the boat.

My aim was totally off that day. I've been practicing for the next time we go sailing.

You'll probably want to wear armor that day. I don't know if you have armor or not. If you don't, then you should get some. It's awesome. Saved my ass on more than one occasion.

Here's to armor.

Cheers.

rick -

"Puppy == small dog, methinks. Nothing more, nothing less. Softer bones, though."

THIS, rick, is why I run Neopoleon and you don't.

Yes, it's true - puppies are just small dogs. Very similar to the way whales are just big fish, and fish are just small whales. Also, octopuses (that, believe it or not, is the current "proper" pluralization for octopus) are not from Earth. Watch your back at the aquarium. They'll rip your effin' heart out and eat it while it's still beating if you get too close. If one comes at you, then punch it in the reproductive organs. You know where they are, right? They're just next to the beak - but don't try to punch the beak, 'cause you'll just hurt yourself. You'd look pretty stupid if you were at a crowded aquarium and you cut your hand on an octopus beak.

Don't be that guy.

Aim for the octopus wiener.

That's all I have to say about fish and aliens. Back to puppies.

Here's the deal, rick - if you put lead clamps around the ankles of the puppies and then chained them to the ground, they wouldn't be able to move at all. You'd feed them diced Alpo through a straw.

Voila - a puppy that has never run free in a field - a puppy with no muscle - a tender, juicy, puppy veal steak.

See? It's totally possible.

Whales are just big fish.

Yep.

Yeah I'll resend, it was about TechEd mainly..

Umm, I've found someone more dangerous than you on a boat! Ask Jim about Pam's home run with a short PVC pipe..
Still, I think armor probably is a good idea especially if Jim gets us all on a boat. Between you and her no part of me is going to be safe!

You know full well that Whales aren't fish at all, given that Whales are mammals and hence from a completely different branch of the ol' animal tree.

You could try making puppy veal, but given that every puppy I've ever seen is more hyperactive than Calvin on cocaine you'd have difficulty preventing it from moving. You'd have to set the puppy in concrete with just its mouth sticking out so it could be fed. (And a hole the other end I guess too... but that's too horrible to contemplate at this time in the morning.)

And no-one wants to eat something that's been set in concrete its whole life.

Here in the Philippines, that popular dog recipe is called azucena, but I think right now dog eating has already been banned. In the province while I was a kid, I got tricked once into eating a steaked food that looked like beef, but the meat is too hard to tear and tastes nothing like beef or pork. Not even like a chicken. So when I asked what I was eating and realized it was our recently dead pet (which got killed on a traffic accident), I barfed alot. Since then I avoided that delicacy.

At the least to what I know of, only adult dogs were made as pulutan (delicacy), especially the askals (stray street dogs). But I dont think anyone here can turn a dead puppy into azucena, that would be too gross. Balut (an egg delicacy with an almost complete chick inside) is generally eaten here, but puppies I dont think so. I cant imagine how it would look like, heheh :)

Arch,

In the aforementioned conversation with Rory, I made an observation that "Westerners tend to neurotically associate purity with what they put in their mouths, while easterners typically relish stories about how they tricked someone into eating something".  

I am pleased to hear that you, too, have a "tricked into eating something" story, and my assertion about westerners is validated on the front page of news.com today with a headline about "protecting children from online food ads".  You see, we don't really mind that our children are being raised like veal destined for a useless future of Simon Cowellism, but "DON'T SHOW MY KID A COOKIE AD!"

I'll do some research while I'm in China next week and come back with a full report. Perhaps you'll be around Portland then? It'd be really lovely to see you.

Re your other post:
Well done!! yay!

Ian -

"Yeah I'll resend, it was about TechEd mainly.."

I got it - I'll respond sometime today.

Got a lot of mail.

Turns out that people suddenly want to contact you after you admit to having been a morphine junkie :)

Massif -

"You know full well that Whales aren't fish at all, given that Whales are mammals and hence from a completely different branch of the ol' animal tree."

NO.

Listen to the truth, Massif. I will deliver it unto thee herefore and nowish.

Fish live underwater.

Following me so far? Take your time.

Whales live underwater.

Ergo, WHALES ARE FISH.

Also, turles are fish, too, and so are dolphins.

StarFISH, too.

And barnacles. They're fish.

DON'T FIGHT TEH SCIENCE.

Sarah -

"I'll do some research while I'm in China next week and come back with a full report. Perhaps you'll be around Portland then? It'd be really lovely to see you."

I don't know where I'll be - going to San Francisco this weekend. If I'm not too tired, I'd like to come down to Portland, as it's my dad's birthday on Monday, but I expect I'll be pretty exhausted.

I'll keep you posted, though. Just look for another "I'm coming to Portland" myspace bulletin.

"Re your other post:
Well done!! yay!"

Thanks :)

Not done yet, but I'm five days in and feeling pretty good. I've been having ups and downs, but the downs are nothing compared to what it's like to quit morphine. I just feel like I have a light flu, but I can keep the symptoms down by taking calcium channel blockers. I've been trying not to, as I want to be able to monitor my progress, but it's nice to be able to feeling comfortable.

I should be totally done in about five or six days.

That's when I'll really know how things are...

Wait, you mean I could have had puppy for lunch today instead of whatever it was that I ate?  I wonder if they can serve dog in the MS cafeteria?

Rory, just thought I'd tip you off - I heard Captain Nonsequitur and the rest of the Police Department of Language and Logic are looking for you. Apparently, they're revoking your right to use the word "ergo". Wouldn't tell me why.

Are you a vegan?