Last week I wrote about going to get Gigi Edgley's autograph at a comic book store this weekend. Being a man of my word, I went. Honesty is huge with me. Really huge. Anybody who has ever trusted me knows that. Or at least suspects it. I mean, as far as they know, I'm honest. Maximally. I promise.

Adam Kinney and a reader named Zer0Mass were there, too. Adam took the photos, and Zer0Mass hung out. I love Adam, as one man does another (hey - that's pretty vague!), and one of my favorite things is getting to meet readers/listeners. Not watchers so much, as they have too much advice to give, but the other two camps are awesome.

This has all happened very quickly. In a few weeks, I watched every episode of Farscape, watched as many interviews as I could, watched every DVD extra, and then, just as I was finishing, this lady comes rolling through town to sign stuff for everybody, giving me the opportunity to meet one of the main cast members.

When I thought I had accomplished most of my goals with this whole Farscape thing, I learned that, in addition to watching the entire series, all the DVD extras, all those interviews, and getting the autograph of one of the main cast members, I was also going to get attacked.

I knew something special was happening. Nobody else has ever attacked me so soon after just having met me. I suspect she may have been acting on instinct, targeting and then attempting to destroy the prettiest thing in the room that wasn't her.

I stood my ground and let her get it out of her system. I also thought it was possible that this was nothing more than a friendly Australian greeting. Like, in the states, we would say "Hi," but in Australia they strangle you. Then you're buds for life. Or at least until the photo opportunity is over.

Gigi Edgley likes me this much...

It looks like I'm defenseless, but I'm actually very much in charge. You can see that Gigi is squinting. That's not because her eyes are broken, but because she didn't do her homework before assaulting me in this fashion. What she doesn't know is that, as my hair grows, I add more and more types of product to the morning do regime. In this photo (and it's a miracle the lens didn't melt) I'm wearing no less than sixteen types of styling product. When her hair connected with mine, the universe sought homeostasis between the hairdos and microscopic bits of product were transferred from my hair to hers.

Product entered her bloodstream, irritated her eyes, and was the cause of the expression she's wearing. It's not mirth that you see - Gigi Edgley is howling in pain and cursing the moment she gave in to her need to best me in hand-to-hand combat.

When she collapsed, I tried to look as innocent as possible. I told everybody she was just reenacting a scene from her Farscape days. For this, she received much applause.

Although her attack became her own defeat, she walked away with a consolation prize. Look at the position of her right inner-elbow (that's the part opposite of her right outer-elbow). The poor girl must have spent the rest of the day trying to figure out what happened that was so wonderful back at the autograph signing.

I'll tell you what it was: She walked away from our scuffle with Le Vainqueur stuck to her arm. Le Vainqueur is by far one of my favorite fragrances in the universe. Every morning, I attach some kind of odor to my neck. Yesterday, it was Le Vainqueur.

After autographs and attacks were through, she stuck around for an hour or so, answering questions from a group of about twenty of us. Is that not fantastic? That is. I'm not going to name any names, but I've met people who have accomplished far less while demanding far more - people who wouldn't be so chummy with their audiences, believing for some reason that there has to be a barrier in the middle. This Gigi person just hung out and talked. It was awesome. It also may be a cultural thing.

Which brings me to...

- Australia -

There aren't many Farscape interviews that go by without a mention of Australia. The show was made there, and it seems this is important to every aspect of its production.

There are some common elements to each of the and-here's-why-Australia-is-so-important-to-Farscape moments (statements made by Aussies and foreigners):

• Australia is a classless society. The TV actor isn't treated any differently from the shoe-shine boy.
• Australians communicate mainly through entertaining insults.
• Australian humor is irreverent - witty - fun.
• Australians tend to be more open to [insert thing here] - like Farscape - a weird ass show about a living ship peopled with muppets.
• Etc...

Through the years, I've noticed that I have a decent readership over that way - anybody care to yea/nay this stuff?

I'm curious because, if this is even remotely correct, then I need to visit.

After watching a few interviews with Anthony Simcoe, it's important that I learn if there really is a country of people out there who are as totally effing funny as that man.

I'd write more, but I really have to pee.