This won't make any sense unless you've read Day One of A Neopoleon Creation Story.

Even then, it might not make sense to you, but at least you'll know you're in possession of all salient facts.

I got up a bit late on the second day. I knew this because I had created Time on the first day. It had been causing Me grief ever since.

Before going to bed on that first night, I created the alarm clock. I'm not going to capitalize that. Some things I do, and some things I don't. It's a matter of taste. Also, I'm God, and I can capitalize things however I want. I can even capitalize the middle letter of a word if it is my whim and fancy. Like, I could make it, "alArm clOck." But I don't want to do that. Point is, I don't have to explain myself and my grammatical choices. I can if I want to, but I don't have to explain.

I'm God. I am God. Not you.

Now shut up. You're interrupting creation...

I created the alarm clock, and I set it before going to bed. I checked everything. It was good to go. The alarm clock was dialed in for getting Me up at 6:00 AM GST.

When I woke up, it was, like, maybe, I don't know, 10:00 AM or so. I probably would have kept on sleeping, but I thought I heard something. When I opened my eyes, I saw sandwich hovering over me.

"What time is it, sandwich?"

sandwich existed at Me.

I looked over at the clock, and I saw this big flashing 12:00. I didn't know what it was. When setting it, I had followed the instructions I had created along with the clock, but they read as though they had been written by someone from a far off land who constructed sentences in a non-native language by randomly stringing words together from a dictionary. I was mystified, but I couldn't let the creation of the universe be held up by an alarm clock.

I wandered out of bed. I should explain the bed.

When I punched out from work the previous day, I didn't have anyplace to go. I didn't see what the point was in leaving work if there was nothing else to do. I fixed that problem right up by creating Home. Home is this container filled with stuff that isn't work. That's where My bed is.

Home.

(There were other qualities of Home I haven't touched on, but I'll explain them along the way. Some things we'll take as read since it's likely you're reading this ages after I finished with creation. If I stopped to explain everything, this would be a ridiculously long book. What I'm about here is action. I want my creation myth to top all the best sellers lists. I'm that kind of a god.)

I walked from My bedroom, down the hallway, and into the breakfast nook. I don't know how it got there so quickly, but sandwich was already in the kitchen. It was wearing a little apron and hovering over a warm bowl of Glop. Glop was My first attempt at creating a breakfast food. It got the job done.

"Thank you, sandwich."

sandwich was turning out to be far better a companion than Jerry ever was, and that goes for both incarnations.

"Would you like to join Me, sandwich? There's plenty of room at the table."

sandwich existed at me.

"Suit yourself."

I ate my bowl of Glop and got dressed. On my way out of Home, I passed the kitchen. It was clean. Spotless. Perfectly spotless, and glimmering. sandwich was hovering over the kitchen, wearing a little maid's outfit.

"Thank you, sandwich."

I was going to leave right then, but I got the feeling that sandwich wanted to come along.

"You want to go out and work on creation with Me today, sandwich?"

sandwich existed at me.

---

When we got outside, we were at work. There was nothing between Home and work. You walked out the door, and - BOOM - there was work. It was too sudden. Over time, I would weary of having only two places to visit in the whole of the universe. Plus, having work right outside where I slept? What was this? A penal colony? I needed to create something to separate Home and work.

sandwich was hovering next to me, wearing a little hardhat.

"What do you think, sandwich? What should we put between work and Home?"

sandwich, in that way sandwich does, existed at Me.

In being so reserved, sandwich gave Me room to think. sandwich acted as a thankless foil for My many ideas.

"Yes, sandwich... Yes. I shall create a thing to separate work from Home, and the thing I create, I shall called the World."

In an instant, there was a thing beneath us. Taking advantage of the new thing beneath us, sandwich and I walked until I felt we were a sufficient distance from Home to feel as though work and Home were distinct.

"I like this distance, sandwich, but I feel like this place could use some sprucing up. The thing beneath us - the World - doesn't excite the senses."

sandwich.

"I thought so, too. I have created the World, but it is barren. It has no color. Its only form is that it's kind of a circle thing. I've been getting used to creating without the encyclopedic list of details I initially thought I'd need. I no longer seek perfection. But, the ambiguity with which I summon a thing always brings with it the unexpected. I will take this drab World and use it as a canvas upon which to paint... something better. As for the shape, I'm still confused. It appears to be a circle, but I can't see far enough to tell. I wonder if it's flat. Or spherical. It could be either. Hm."

The conundrum, in the Noggin of Noggins, bounced around like something I hadn't created yet, but that would bounce around if put inside a noggin. When it was created. Which wasn't yet.

"Puzzling. Tell me, sandwich... do you think the world is flat? Or spherical?"

A steady sandwich.

"Ah, yes. Yes, indeed. I see your point. I agree. Well done, sandwich."

sandwich.

sandwich was clearly right, though regardless of the circumstances, the World had to be personalized. One day, if I met with great success, there might be many worlds, of which World was only one. Without distinction, World would be lost among the infinite grandeur.

I brought the World an identity.

"Let there be, upon the World, a mark of specificity; a design to set it apart from all other heavenly bodies; let this creation come forth now, and let it be called...[burp]."

A sheathe of color and trees and sky and ferns and primitive critters and poisonous snakes and rivers and mountains and red and green and blue and all they blend to create came to be around and enveloping the drabness formerly known only as World.

"Did you catch what I called this thing, sandwich? I hadn't quite come up with the name when I let out a little burp. You make a delicious bowl of Glop, but a little came back up in my throat there and I had to kinda belch when that happened. By the time I swallowed the Glop back down, this... whatever it is was already here. Any ideas? I have no idea what I said..."

sandwich hovered.

"No - I don't think that was it. I thought it was more of an 'Uuuuuurrrrrp-pah'."

sandwich.

"Well, how about 'Uuuuuurrrph-ahhh...'"

sandwich.

sandwich, sandwich.

"I'm getting closer? Let me try again... 'Urrrrrrrrrrrphhhhhh'. That had to have been what I said."

Still sandwich.

"If that's what you think... 'Urph'?"

Slightly off kilter sandwich.

"Oh, I get it! 'Urth'!"

Not quite as off kilter sandwich.

"I agree. That is a stupid way to spell it. Again, but with a small change, 'Earth'."

sandwich existed at me.

"Woo-hoo!"

I high-fived sandwich.

"Well, sandwich. Here we are. Earth. It's a lovely name. A lovely place. This was a splendid day, sandwich. We earned a little rest and relaxation back at Home."

Elevating a bit higher than normal sandwich.

"C'mon... I'll race you Home!"

---

That night, sandwich and I celebrated with Glop and gravy. sandwich wandered off after dinner to go sandwich, and I mused over the day's events over a snifter of brandy. In two days, the Universe had gone from infinite nothingness to a thing of beauty, stretching off into the distance, over mountains and cliffs and beaches, to whatever lay beyond.

Day three would present a greater challenge than either of the first two. All things great had been created. What lay ahead was all things small. The details. Coming up with names for each thing in existence. Deciding where the furniture would go, so to speak. It would be a test unlike any other.

We were a long way from Jerry. I shook my head and smiled as I looked back on that first day of creation. It was all so easy then.

But tomorrow was coming.

I drained the snifter of what little brandy remained, put the snifter in the dishwasher, and walked back to my bedroom on tired feet.

I passed through the doorway, and was surprised to see that my bed had been made, and my alarm clock had been properly set. The flashing 12:00 was gone.

"Did you do this?"

sandwich was hovering at the side of the bed, wearing a little electrician's tool-belt.

"Thank you, sandwich."

What a thoughtful sandwich.

"Now, run along to bed. We are going to have a busy day tomorrow, and we'll need all our strength to make it through."

sandwich hovered over the bed toward the door.

On the way out, sandwich turned off the light in my room, and as sandwich hovered off down the hallway, I watched sandwich's little shadow slowly glide away.

A moment later, sandwich was again hovering next to the door.

"Oh, you can leave it open. I like to have a little light coming in from the hallway. Thank you."

sandwich turned back toward the hallway.

"And, sandwich?"

sandwich came back.

"Good night."

sandwich.