I was looking through my file archives today when I found some old videos I did for Neopoleon.

The idea was to create fun little ads that would promote my site on my site. I never expected anybody else to host them, which was convenient since nobody else ever did.

I was just a widdle boy when I did these. 25, I think. Not sure. Will probably never know. I could do the math, but have neither the training nor the computing power to complete such a task. Anyway, I'm busy calculating pi out to the trillionth digit. On my phone. That's how badass I am.

The first video is self-explanatory. I combined humor and skin to connect with various demographics. Everybody likes to laugh, and some other people like sexy men who looked anorexic when they were younger.

The second video is one I'd been waiting to do. I specifically wanted my friend Dave Lownsohn to be in it, so I had to sit around until his band stopped touring for five minutes and he was in town.

He probably wishes he had never done it. Given that he was in the middle of touring, what I asked him to do with his voice couldn't have been good. He was probably bleeding by the end of the video.

For those of you who were around during the Panda Control days, you'll recognize Dave as the guy who played Reinhold van Buren Esquire - my attorney, VP, head of HR, and soldier. It was based on the strength of his portrayal of a terrified man in this video that I hired him for Panda Control. If he could scream like that, then what else was he capable of?

Magic. That's what.

Enjoy this old crap.

[Gratuitous Links to my Homies - Not Part of the Post Above] [Learn More]

- Lloyd Again - Lloyd took my creation story and packaged it up as a Word document so people can read it offline. It's coming in now at almost 30,000 words. That's a lot of words.

- Cindy / Celes - Because she's uber-supportive and nuts.