I'm an insomniac. If I don't take my sleeping pill, I don't sleep. That's what being an insomniac is.

I've been lying in bed for... five hours? I dunno. I forgot to take my sleeping pill.

As I was waiting for my sleeping pill (that I didn't take) to kick in, I watched an episode of Torchwood, two episodes of Doctor Who, read a bunch of pages in some stupid book thing, and found a great online recipe for oogruk flippers.

I don't know how I stumbled upon this favorite of Eskimos everywhere. I clicked on something and then clicked on something else and then clicked on one more thing and then clicked on several-hundred other things.

All roads, it seems, lead to this recipe for oogruk flippers.

I don't know how you like your oogruk flippers. I prefer to consume them still attached to the oogruk, but I also like my oogruk to be alive and putting up a fight while I eat it, so my tastes might be a little unusual.

Most people just eat oogruk as it's served. If you're well-to-do, you probably eat traditional oogruk roast with a side of oogruk parts in oogruk sauce. If you're trailer trash, you get "Gorton's Oogruk Sticks" from the frozen food aisle of your local supermarket.

If you're lucky, though, you know somebody who likes to whip up a good old fashioned home-cooked oogruk. While many cooks would argue over the finer details of oogruk preparation (should you leave the feelers on? should you de-venom before boiling?), all will agree on one thing: no matter how you do it (unless it's that frozen "Gorton's Oogruk Sticks" crap), nothing sets a table with smiles like a big fat smoldering oogruk.

I found this recipe particularly enticing. It's for oogruk flippers only, so just throw away the rest of the oogruk when you're done:

Oogruk Flippers - The Eskimo Cookbook

Serving Size: 2    Preparation Time: 0:00

Amount  Measure       Ingredient -- Preparation Method
--------    ------------  --------------------------------
         1     small         oogruk
                                fresh blubber

Cut the flippers off from the oogruk.  Put the flippers in fresh blubber.  Let
them stay there for about two weeks.  Take the loose fur off the flipper.

Cut flipper into small pieces and eat the meat.

Take note - the recipe calls for fresh blubber - not the canned stuff.

I'm gonna go stare at things.

Bye.