What sort of prizes am I looking at here?

A ride in the Mini Cooper is around what... 4,000 points?  Maybe I should just continue saving up for that?

---

The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting...

For the life of me, I had no idea what this was about... then I noticed. POINTS! I have points!

...

What does it all mean?

Well, it means two things.

1 - you haven't been paying enough attention to the area around your avatar.

2 - prizes!

(That's an old joke, I can't even remember the show which started the "and what do points mean?... prizes!" line. But it comes to me via "I'm sorry I haven't a clue" wherein the dialog would go:

Chair: "Points are a system of communicating with trains... What do points mean?"

Audience: "Prizes!"

Chair: "You play your game, and I'll play mine.")

---

The one, the only, the undisputed king of the world.

"1 - you haven't been paying enough attention to the area around your avatar."

...or you guys have been paying too much.

"That's an old joke"

I don't get it.

"prizes!"

Well, since you said so, I'll hold you to it. What kind of prizes, Massif?

I think you'd have to ask Rory what kind of prizes we'd be getting. It's not my place to say.

Urgh... I have my appraisal this morning, and despite feeling consciously sanguine about it (it's not like I even like my job that much) I'm subconsciously nervous as hell. I can tell only because I keep needing the toilet. Sigh...

---

The one, the only, the undisputed king of the world.

After hearing about your vacation time, I'm having a hard time feeling sympathetic. ;)

I am sure you'll be fine. :)

I thought you knew everything about this prize deal! You said there'd be prizes...

I have points?

Well, look at that!  Not only do I have points, I'm in the top 25!  Gonna have to work harder though... you guys are all like top 10.  I've got jealousy now...

What are points for?

You people want to know what points are for? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT POINTS ARE FOR:

1. Having more points.

2. Making you feel important by rewarding you with a meaningless number.

3. The more points you have, the more points you have than other people except people who have more points than you.

4. If you have serious points, I'm far less likely to ban your entire IP subnet.

5. Last, and most importantly, nothing. Points are for absolutely nothing. It's a phantom dream - a dry oasis - unrequited love.

Fools. You're all fools.

Enjoy your "points"...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

I LAUGH AT YOUR PATHETIC INTEREST IN POINTS!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

---

- Rory
- Owner of Neopoleon
- Monster in the sack

"5. Last, and most importantly, nothing. Points are for absolutely nothing. It's a phantom dream - a dry oasis - unrequited love."

Can I have about 20,000, then?  That'll make me look coooool!

"4. If you have serious points, I'm far less likely to ban your entire IP subnet."

Wow. Now I feel all sorts of special...

"It's a phantom dream - a dry oasis - unrequited love."

Change the middle part a bit and you have a pretty neat haiku.

It's a phantom dream,
a dry, hellish oasis,
unrequited love.
                         -Rory

I dunno, but you make points sound pretty cool. They sound kind of like emo trading cards.

Fantabulous.